We were married with kids, he left me for her, now he keeps coming around (calling daily) saying he wants to be “friends.”
He’s still with her.
Sometimes (okay, regularly) he still wants to fuck me.
I admit, I still love him, which I realize probably makes me a total retard.
I’m ashamed to ask: do you think he’ll eventually try to come back?
But really, what should I do? Grow a pair and get over it? Then what? Ignore him?
Or is it okay to be vulnerable in this case (long term marriage + kids + I still love him = hard habit to break) and hold out hope?
And importantly: can I justify telling her (that he and I are still fucking) just to spite her? Or must I keep that to myself to preserve civility for the sake of our kids? Because yeah, I want her to suffer a bit.
If you had brass balls, you’d seduce her and then break the news to him.
Short of that, you should feel free to tell her all about the hot hot sex you’re still having with your ex-husband. In fact, take some pictures and show her. This is one of those all’s-fair-in-love-and-war type situations, so go ahead and ruin their relationship. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it.
You’re the mother of his children, so for better or worse you’re stuck with him for life. He’s also stuck with you, which means you can totally get away with giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Don’t ever count on getting him back, though. That’s not the point. Fuck him. You shouldn’t take him back if he comes crawling. Maybe for the sake of the kids, but you know what? That ain’t gonna happen.
This isn’t about you holding out hope. This about you taking back control. This is about you having some fucking self respect.
No matter what else happens, you have to get over him. It’s tricky because he’ll always be in your life, but you have to move on.