On making it work.

The girl: funny, brilliant, snarky, gorgeous, possibly asexual. The other girl (me): high sex drive. The deal: We spend an absurd amount of time together, we never run out of things to say to one another, she makes me giggle like a fucking teenager when I think about her. I haven’t been in anything this functional for a long time.

We’re not anything official, which is just how I like it. She doesn’t care what I do with my spare time, so I can fuck whomever I damn well please. We’ve had a couple of frank talks about physical intimacy, and it breaks down like this: she has a low sex drive and she’s had bad experiences in the past. I’m starting to wonder if she’s asexual (for a variety of reasons). I plan on having a conversation with her about it as soon as we’re in the same time zone again, but I was wondering if you had any advice on being in a relationship with someone whose sex drive is completely different than yours – perhaps permanently different than yours.

I adore this girl, Coke Talk. She literally lights my world up, and I don’t even care how fucking sappy that sounds. I want this to work, but I’m nervous as shit. Help a girl out?

If you’re both happy to express physical intimacy without being explicitly sexual, and she’s okay with the relationship being open to the extent that you can fuck other people as long as a certain degree of intimacy is reserved exclusively for each other, then it’s entirely possible for a relationship like this to work.

Communication is key to this kind of arrangement. Not to lean on the cliche, but you’re both chicks, so I’m not too worried about your ability to communicate. The real trick is keeping all those frank talks positive and productive.

You’re googly-eyed right now, and that’s great, but that shit eventually wears off. When it does, you’ll have to be very careful not to stray into emotional intimacy territory with any of your other sex partners.

For now though, just go slow, stay brutally honest, and enjoy the butterflies.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *