Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun sized advice.

are you on coke for every response? or just special select few?
You can tell, huh?

Should I do coke? Does it live up to the hype?

Honestly? No. Ecstasy is way better.

Deliberately trying to get pregnant. And halve his livelihood and success in the process, I suppose.

This isn’t PostSecret, you miserable cunt. Go fall down some stairs.

Do you think you’re psychologically/emotionally capable of killing a person?

Sure. Not for shits and giggles or anything, but in a him or me type situation, I’d like to think I wouldn’t hesitate.

Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino?

The Coen Brothers.

You should make an iphone app.

Um, is there an app for that?

Do you believe all good things must really come to an end?

To the extent that you are bound by time, of course they do.

Awww, poor baby almost had her hate speech taken away! Cling to your privilege, sister! Don’t let those faggots get you down!

Don’t worry, babe. Your humorless sanctimony and hypocritical victim mentality don’t affect me in the least. Good luck with all that misdirected rage, though.

“I strongly suggest you lighten the fuck up.” Take your own advice.

Okay. Pull my finger.

people ask you some dumb fuckin questions. how do you deal? (pardon the irony, as i realize this is also a dumb fuckin question.)

Deal with what? It’s not my drama. I may have a momentary emotional response, but I don’t take any of this shit seriously or personally.

Is it bad to get a boner when a girl is sitting on your lap?

Yes it is, Santa.

whats the best place to live in LA if you don’t have a car?


what is in your opinion the measure of a good man?

Integrity. Eight solid inches of integrity.

I’m a vegan, and I don’t think that makes me arrogant at all.

It doesn’t, but assuming I was talking about you kind of does.

Would we be friends in real life?

I’d like to think so.

how come if you hit on an engaged man youre a selfish cunt, but if hes already married you should just make it a threesome?

Again, marital status is immaterial. Inflicting chaos on a couple is a no-no, but if both parties are cool with you joining in, feel free. Why is basic integrity so fucking hard for you to understand?

is it just me or is America a New York minute away from economic collapse, leading to a full blown police state?

We’re not shipping brown people off in boxcars just yet, but I’d recommend nobody piss off the TSA this Thanksgiving unless you wanna find out how much we already live in a police state.

I told my boyfriend that every time we have sex, he’s also having sex with you. Reading this blog shaped who I am—crazy, honest, witty, and sensible. Thanks so much.

You’re welcome. I hope your boyfriend makes us squirt.


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