Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun sized advice.

Should I feel obliged to masturbate?
Only on behalf of your own genitals.

who do you think you are, jesus?
No. I actually exist.

Should ugly people be allowed to love?
Each other, yes.

how many pills does it take to commit suicide?

Do you believe in soul mates?
Fuck no.

He’s a dog person. I’m a cat person. How do we make this work?
Kill the cat.

Where is my mom hiding her cigarettes?
Under her mattress.

Does your boyfriend read your blog?
Yes. So does yours.

why is it so hard to find ketamine these days?
Because you don’t know any Mexican veterinarians.

Why doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?
Because you got fat.

Why do guys enjoy messing with a woman’s head?
Because it’s attached to your body.

Do guys prefer hairless or trimmed?
They prefer pussy.


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