Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun-sized advice

There’s this one male cashier around my age at the supermarket who consistently calls me “sweetheart.” As I near my mid-30s these types of dismissively sexist comments annoy me more and more. Should I just let it go, or should I say something?
I think you’ll find “I’m not your fucking sweetheart” to be one of the most deeply satisfying phrases in the entirety of the English language.

When my boyfriend broke up with me, he said our relationship “filled him with existential dread.” What the fuck does that even mean? I know what existential dread is, but what does that have to do with our dearly departed relationship?
The relationship had your boyfriend contemplating the idea of forever, and it freaked him out. It was a polite (if not pretentious) way of saying that the mere thought of spending the rest of his life with you terrified him.

So, we know where you stand on cheating and being the other man/woman but what do you think about telling someone they’re being cheated on? Do you think people have a right to know or should a third party just mind their own business?
There’s a lot to be said for minding your own business, but there’s also a good case for applying the golden rule — it really just depends on the situation. When you’re trying to balance compassion with discretion, let loyalty guide you further than honesty.

I just figured out that nobody has The Right Answer because there’s no such thing as The Right Answer, and it has me feeling real fucking lost. I didn’t realize how much I’ve always depended on other people to make decisions for me until now, yet I don’t trust myself to make those decisions either. How do I recover from this?
Recover? No, there is no recovery. You wouldn’t wanna go back even if you had the option. You aren’t lost. You’re just burdened by the philosophical equivalent of adolescence and what you imagine to be your own free will. Just go be a good person, and don’t be afraid to keep growing.

I’ve been going on a bunch of dates recently and while I have fun, the guys are nice, the conversation is interesting, the sex is good, I just feel so … hollow afterwards. I feel very distant from the experience. What gives?
Pretty simple, really. Casual dating (while occasionally fun) doesn’t satisfy your desperate craving for a deep spiritual, physical, and emotional connection to another human being. The hollow feeling is just a friendly reminder.

Nothing makes me feel smaller or uglier or more like a piece of shit than someone I care about showing romantic interest in me, and I don’t know why. I wish I could get people to stop.
The reason it makes you feel small and ugly is because you consider romantic interest to be an unsolicited sexualization of a platonic relationship. It’s a shift in how you think a person values you, one that degrades your own self-worth. It doesn’t have to, though. The trick is in realizing and fully accepting that you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re not the one betraying the fundamental nature of the relationship. They are.


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