Fun-Sized Advice

On more fun-sized advice

Is it possible for a straight female to suffer from nice guy syndrome?

What should a tired, unhealthy, passionless failure do next?
You’re not a failure yet, so get healthy and then use your newfound energy to find a passion.

How do people fall out of love? Were they never really in love?
There are lots of ways to fall out of love, and for what it’s worth, you can’t fall out of love if you were never really in love.

I’m about to start an enterprise that’ll take, on paper, six years of continuous felony.
Well, if you’re not gonna hurt anybody, then I wish you six years of continuous luck.

How do I know I’ve crossed the line from “I’m just an anxious person and I’m working on it” to “my anxiety is out of control and maybe I should try a medication?”
This is the exact question you should ask your therapist and/or doctor, but generally, unless you’re dealing with acute panic symptoms, I wouldn’t recommend jumping to medication until after you’ve put a few months worth of genuine effort into some good ol’ fashioned cognitive behavioral therapy.

Have you changed your opinion on Sam Harris?
Hell no. I love Sam. Fight me.

Are you excited that Winona’s making a comeback?
Winona never left.

Have you ever met any of the Real Housewives?
I almost killed Lisa Vanderpump’s dog once.

Are you on Tinder?
Yes. (I prefer Bumble, though.)

Do you dream or is it just blank at night?
I dream. Vividly.

How many stamps are in your passport?
Which one?

Do you ask for a bite of people’s food when you’re out to dinner with them?
I don’t have to ask.

Do you run this show (blog) by yourself?
I occasionally ask for help from a close friend or two, but it’s largely a solo effort. (Story of my life.)

Why do i keep reloading your page like there’s going to be something new there?
Because of moments like this.


79 thoughts on “On more fun-sized advice

  1. Sam says:

    Sam Harris! Yes! God, it’s exhausting defending him from irrational and inaccurate attacks (see: that 3 hour Young Turks interview).

      • Jake says:

        Also, people don’t appreciate from a coding perspective how much nicer your blog was, even back in the day on tumblr. Not asking Coke herself, but for anyone reading, that’s the kind of shit you tend to pay decent cash for unless you know how yourself.

        Not to mention, her other websites & collaborations w/ artists on jewelry, etc., all requires graphics & production itself.

        She doesn’t fucking lie about knowing all the right people.

          • Jake says:

            Fuck, maybe she is.

            She’ll go tit-for-tit on astrophysics all the way until doctorate level, and who knows, maybe her real life job IS fucking astrophysics.

    • grouch says:

      I read that, that was amazing. I just rediscovered Sam Harris (basically today), and I guess it’s a testament to all of the attacks on him, and all of the lies, that I was under the impression that he was an ignorant, bigoted MRA type. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve been gradually becoming more and more annoyed and concerned about the liberal left apologises for Islam to an extent that hurts any meaningful discourse.

      • Rainbowpony says:

        It’s also possible to appreciate Sam Harris and not agree with him. I often feel he goes too far, but the complexity, concepts and eloquence he brings to any topic always improves the discourse.

        • Cuttlefish says:

          I can’t think of a single writer/thinker/commentator/advice columnist/etc that I admire that I don’t also sometimes (strongly) disagree with. Everybody is at least a little bit “problematic” sometimes, and you can be a fan without turning into a disciple.

  2. Brynn says:

    I love it when people ask questions like the first one.

    “Can women learn the same maladaptive behaviors that men learn, even though women are more often victims of those behaviors?”

    I love that some hefty percentage of people concerned about gender equality think about men and women as if they were a different species.

    It’s absolutely hilarious.

  3. Stephen says:

    “What should a tired, unhealthy, passionless failure do next?” I didn’t send this one, but damn, it feels like I did.

    • grouch says:

      Yeah, same. I realised (well, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but it’s moved to the forefront of my brain) that I used to have passion for what I did, and since I moved to something else (I thought it was the thing I “should” be doing), I didn’t have passion for the different thing, and I didn’t really notice the gradual shift.

      • Stephen says:

        I don’t really have any “passions”, so much as I have hobbies that I dabble in every now and then between Internet surfing time. (I am, uh…not a “busy” individual, so to speak.)

  4. Elsie says:

    I love the profound one word answers to questions. Hope I’m still around when Coquette answers “trombone” to a question not about music.

    • Chris says:

      You can have more than one passport without being a dual citizen. A friend of mine in the Peace Corps also has a Chinese passport. He’s a big hairy white dude. Irish.

    • grouch says:

      I’m under the impression that if you’re american, you can’t gain a new citizenship without losing your american citizenship, but there’s a lot of countries that grant citizenship at birth based on having a parent or grandparent from there. It’s really useful if you ever want to travel to both the Middle East and Israel.

      • The Coquette says:

        You are mistaken. You can become a citizen of another country without renouncing your American citizenship.

        Also, Israel and the Middle East are not two different things. Israel is in the Middle East.

        • Lucy says:

          So which is it- did you get a second passport because you had so many stamps and ran out of pages, or are you a dual citizen?

          • Angie says:

            Or the most likely: she recently renewed her passport. My new passport has only 4 foreign countries (and is about 18 months old)… Which still equates to about 12 stamps. This is mostly a result of demanding Canada stamp my passport every time I enter and hiking the Inca trail and collecting souvenir stamps. But my old passport, which I keep alongside my current one (for street cred :-P) has somewhere in the 40s at least.

            Usually, if you run out of pages and you’ve got plenty of time before your renewal, you just add more pages.

        • Grouch says:

          Huh. I didn’t know that about US citizenship. It’s never been remotely relevant to me, personally. I meant the Muslim countries in the rest of the Middle East (In hindsight I realize that’s a pretty dumb way of putting it, but good grief, do I talk like I’ve never seen a map?). I’m told that if you have an Israeli stamp on your passport, Qatar and Saudi (possibly others) won’t let you in.

  5. Apricot says:

    You technically may lose your citizenship if you become a naturalized citizen in another country, with the intent of giving up US citizenship- keyword is intent, seems a bit vague to me.

    • Compagno says:

      The U.S. now allows dual citizenship, and has done so for a number of years. I have become an Italian citizen while keeping my U.S. passport.

        • Margo says:

          Lol this has been a great post for breathless speculations about coquette’s identity. I for one am most interested in this real housewives shenanigan.

          • rollertrain says:

            Totally disagree. The less I know the person behind this website, the better. 90% of the time, reality is a disappointment. Keep it in your pants, Comment Section. (goes to jerk off furiously to all the mens)

  6. RocketGrunt says:

    Since you don’t give away information that might reveal your identity, I’m assuming that either Lisa Vanderpump has no idea you almost killed her dog or that so many people have come close to killing it that you could be anyone.

    • Rainbowpony says:

      I agree. I used to read quite a few atheist blogs, then it all went to hell. Maybe I just grew up, idk. I wish I could find better ones.

      • Chops says:

        I dont know that they exist. Neo atheists seem to be inseparable from MRA types these days. But maybe my Presbyterian ass is biased.

        I miss Hitchens. He seemed like the last atheist writer who was at least inquisitive, rather than just trying to use “logic” as a social media cudgel.

        • Rainbowpony says:

          I’m not sure what you mean by neo-atheists, but I agree there are alot of extremes within the movement. It does seem that either one is a MRA self-hating scumbag or a social justice zealot, and of course that leads to polarization and childish infighting. It’s really sad.

          • Chops says:

            For the sake of clarity, I use “neo atheist” to encompass the recent surge of writing, thought and debate about atheism, helmed primarily by the aforementioned Hitchens but also Dawkins, Harris, et al.

      • grouch says:

        Yeah, same. I liked PZ Myers for a while, but Freethoughtblogs seems to have descended into a different type of orthodoxy, which is probably why it split, and now there’s a second blogging site. I’m so glad people here mentioned Sam Harris, he’s vilified a lot on sites like Freethoughtblogs, but I think FTB takes muslim apologism to the point of absurdity sometimes.

          • A grouch says:

            Yeah, I made a joke on Heina Dadabhoy’s blog (sp?) once on a post about yet another absurd Dawkins tweet, about how old white guys just shouldn’t tweet, and she replied personally to tell me that was a terrible thing to say. I stopped reading her blog after that (stopped reading FTB blogs in general soon after). Now that I think about it, she might not have been sincere, but the general environment around there made it sound plausible.

          • Rainbowpony says:

            I feel ya. I used to read pz’s blog, the science and octopuses are amazing, but over time I was totally turned off by the hive mind quality of the blog. I mean, there people professed to be logical thinkers, but I felt they just parrotted pz’s ideas – which are sometimes hysterical and poorly informed. Also, pz would delete some of my posts, I think because they were well reasoned and brought nuance to topics he wanted to treat as cut and dry. Totally lost respect for him.

            I’m just gonna keep plugging this til it happens… where is our talk thread outside of coke? We could totally exchange reading materials and ideas.

  7. Iana says:

    What should a tired, unhealthy, passionless failure do next?
    You’re not a failure yet, so get healthy and then use your newfound energy to find a passion.

    That shit really spoke to me and I didn’t even know I needed it. Thanks, Coke! Love ya!

  8. Jessica Sen says:

    Morning Coke. Morning “lovers and fuckers”. It’s fucking winter here where I am and I want to get to a warm beach and fuck all the hot boys here so fingers crossed

    Coke I love you

    No I don’t think you understand

    I like really love you

    You don’t love me
    Not really
    Do you even know me

    But I love you Coke
    Keep writing
    Amen hallelujah vinaka terima JE T’AIME

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