My ex-fiancee just got engaged to the guy she cheated on me with. After 3 years I thought I was over her, and yet one stupid Facebook notification through a friend of a friend and I’m a goddamn wreck. Apart from drinking myself to sleep for the next few nights, how the hell do I get past something like this? I know it’s stupid and childish to cling to the past, but she was the first woman to break my heart. Compounded with the breakup I had about a month ago, I’m almost turned against the whole relationship thing entirely.

I know I’m being reactionary and selfish, but beyond that I have no idea how to cope with this shit. Coquette, help?

Dude, put down the bottle of cheap scotch and log out of Facebook.

So you had your heart broken. Good. It’s one of those necessary experiences that’s all part of having a full life, but three years is long enough. Quit your damn wallowing. It’s fucking pathetic.

She wasn’t your one great love. You two weren’t meant to be together. The guy she cheated on you with didn’t win any prize by getting her to say yes. Hell, you got her to say yes. Big fuckin’ deal.

You didn’t lose anything here. They didn’t get one over on you. It only feels that way because you’ve concocted a bullshit fantasy about the way things coulda shoulda woulda been if only… if only… if only what exactly?

Please. You were in a shitty relationship that ended badly three years ago. Quit romanticizing it. You should be laughing at this news. He’s a fool for getting engaged to a cheater, and you’re a mope every goddamned second you don’t see it that way.

Get your shit together, man.