While I was on vacation with my friends I cheated on my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years and fooled around with a guy I met. I came clean and he forgave me, but a week ago, he told me that after I confessed, he made out with a girl at a party. I feel like I don’t have the right to be mad, is that true? Are we even now? Do I have to forgive him because he forgave me?
It sounds as though he made out with this girl as a deliberate and direct act of retaliation to your infidelity, and if he felt the need to retaliate, then he never really forgave you. He may have said the words, but it wasn’t actual forgiveness.
You have a right to be mad because you are entitled to your emotions, and you don’t have to forgive him, even if he did forgive you (which he clearly didn’t.)
Still, you’ve both fucked up now. It’s not that you’re even, but in a way, a certain kind of balance has been restored. You’re both hurt and you’re both mad, but at least you’re both in the same boat. I think it’s probably best for both of you to really and truly forgive one another.
It’s okay if you’re both still low-key mad at each other, but you should talk openly about any anger or resentment so that it doesn’t build up and detonate your relationship.
You should also start talking openly and honestly because neither of you trusts the other anymore. That’s the worst part of all of this, and it’s the part that’s gonna keep gnawing at you, so if you can’t handle open and honest communication, consider ending things now, because this mutual infidelity is either gonna bring you two closer together, or a lack of trust will be the slow poison that kills your relationship.