I do love your posts, Coke Talk, and we’ve had a good run, but I need consistency. The only consistency you’ve shown this relationship is your lack of it. You’re just not putting your heart into this, and that doesn’t work for me. Maybe we can be friends. Have a good one.
I have an idea. Log onto PayPal and send me a large sum of money in exchange for my entertainment services. That way, you will have a legitimate excuse for talking to me like I owe you a god damned thing.
I’m serious. By all means, feel free to send me cash. Until then, however, you are cordially invited to shut the fuck up.
You see, I have a life. A ridiculous one, in fact, and it’s summertime up in this bitch. If I want to disappear for a week of tropical debauchery, then you’ll just have to wait patiently until I get back.
Please don’t ever forget that this is my hobby. I do not advertise, merchandise, or monetize this site in any way. I do it for fun. I do it because I love hearing people’s secrets, and I love talking shit.
If you don’t think my heart is in this, you know where the unfollow button is. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.