Advice

On not purple

no, i’m not wearing purple on wednesday.

the day i’m asked to wear a color for straight people, is the same day i’ll wear a color for gay people. if gay people want to be treated as equals, they need to realize that being an equal doesn’t mean having a day devoted to yourselves. that’s automatically trying to put yourselves above everyone. i don’t feel like i’m any better than a gay person, and i don’t feel a gay person is any better than me.

* and i know that i’m going to get bitched at about the “it’s about 3 gay students committing suicide”. GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. people get bullied about who they are every single day. people commit suicide over that type of thing a lot. so being bullied for being gay makes your suicide more important than someone that gets bullied for being overweight/nerdy/different? i’m sorry, but it doesn’t.

 

I’m really glad you took the time to write me this letter, because you needed to get some of that anger out. I completely understand why you feel that kind of resentment towards a day like today.

From your point of view, the gay kids have separated themselves out from the other kids who suffer from bullying. More than that. They’ve elevated themselves to martyrs, and fuck it. Nobody likes a martyr.

From your point of view, a day like this makes the kind of horrible shit you’ve had to endure somehow less worthy of condemnation merely because you’re heterosexual.

From your point of view, you’ve yet again been excluded.

I’m not going to attack the merits of your argument. It’s really not worth my time to instruct you on how badly you’re missing the point when it comes to concepts like sexual identity or equality. This is an emotional issue for you, and so I’ll put it as simply as I can.

This color is for you too.

Shit, kid. The gays may have picked the color of the flag, but you get to be the one who picks the spirit in which that flag is raised. Don’t make today about gay versus straight. Today is about kindness versus cruelty. Today is about enlightenment versus ignorance. Today is about love versus pain.

Sexual identity may be tied up in the politics of it all, but I assure you when it comes down to it, today is a uniquely personal experience about processing the very kinds of emotional pain that caused you to write me in the first place.

We’ve all felt it. Every last one of us.

The source of that pain, whatever it is for you, is the reason you should go find something purple to wear right now.

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