On nuking your lady parts.

I just saw the one on permanent birth control, and I followed your (excellent) advice and looked at the Essure website, because I’m in the same boat.

Everything looked dandy until I read the part that said, “Essure does not contain hormones to interfere with your natural menstrual cycle. Your periods should more or less continue in their natural state.”

What. The. Eff.

So, a woman can be free from having to worry about pregnancy but still has to go through the pointless monthly hell that is a period? What fucking genius came up with this shit, because I can guarantee you it wasn’t a woman.

This is what pisses me off: Why has no one yet found a cure for the common rag? We have drugs that can make an old man’s dick unnaturally hard, drugs that will keep a dude from going bald, drugs that keep old men from having to embarrass themselves by needing to drain the liz’ every 10 minutes, and so on. And yet, Western medicine is unable to do something about an incredibly annoying and often painful condition that affects half of the population of this planet? Really?

Yeah, you can take birth control for months straight and not have a period (I’ve been doing this for years), but that’s merely a side effect that was never the intention of the makers of the pill, and leaves the women whose bodies do not tolerate birth control or who cannot afford pills in the first place with no options to stop aunt flo’s monthly visits. Why haven’t researchers come up with something that stops the cycle altogether when a woman has no need for it, and is affordable and within reach for all women?

What you want is called endometrial ablation. They basically nuke your lady parts with a James Bond style laser.

A good friend of mine had the procedure, and she swears by it. Admittedly, she was done having kids and had a couple other issues that made it necessary, but she couldn’t be happier with the results. No more periods. None.

The biological imperative to reproduce is a strong one, ladies. No need to get pissed at the boys for having Viagra. Just do your research. We live in an age where if you can dream it, there’s a laser that will do it.

Remember, you’re battling nature here. That bitch knows how to put up a fight.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *