Advice

On party tips.

“If you wanna know how to whip up a holiday batch of ketamine using peppermint extract, or about proper finger etiquette when sticking ecstasy up a friend’s ass, then sure — I’m your girl.”

Ooh, go ahead with these, please.

Not to be all Martha Stewart or anything, but if you add a splash of peppermint extract to your liquid ketamine before cooking it down to powder, it’s pretty much like inhaling christmas. Obviously peppermint is seasonal, but vanilla extract works fabulously as well.

As for finger etiquette, be sure to push the ecstasy tab as far up your friend’s ass as possible. No long nails, and do your best to make it one smooth motion. A little lube is fine, but be quick about it. Pills tend to disintegrate the second they hit astroglide.

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