I want nothing more than to fuck a friend of mine. Sometimes, I swear that my body is full of electricity when I think about the idea!
The problem here is this: she’s a girl, I’m a girl and I’m not openly bisexual. I haven’t come to terms with this, it’s not an issue, but I’ve never felt this compelled to throw caution to the wind. I’m at odds with what to do because I believe in patiently waiting on what the endurance of a crush really is. Most of the time, it’s just fizzled out sparks.
She and I hang out often, which is something I’m trying not to do as much anymore. She texts me all the time; when she wakes up, with random little things, etc. We can also go for hours texting back and forth with messages that if read, someone would definitely think there was some kind of relationship going. Her flirtation definitely borders on intrusion and in public I can undeniably say we’ve made a lot people uncomfortable. When we drink, our threat level becomes orange because she loves to dance on me. She’ll typically grind on me and it drives me crazy (she does this sober as well) and just taking it is all I can do as to not tear her apart right then and there. Most recently, I think we went a little too far in front of friends. I was drunk, she was high, and I kept feeling up on her butt. This was only because she wanted me to rearrange what she had in her back pockets. I kept rearranging at her beck, but it just looked like I was fondling her and admiring, sort of the way a man holds a woman by her ass and looks down at her. That same night, she wasn’t reluctant to touch my lips with her fingers just to get me to talk after a moment of being silent. That sent a straight up electric shock through me. Her touching my lips is something I don’t want to foolishly over-analyze but what I’m really thinking is, who does that??
When we’re alone, though, it’s different. We’re friends and we giggle about stupid boy stuff, her ex-boyfriend situation, our “moments” and everything else in between. When I made a comment about our borderline flirting to our group of friends, they just returned with “that’s just how Jane Doe is!” And when I confided in another friend about how often Jane Doe wants to hang out, she noted how someone had actually thought Jane Doe had been “on my ass” lately.
If I had none of this to add on to the fact that she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago and is definitely trying to live it up, then I could easily say that she’s not interested.
I don’t want to ruin what can definitely thrive as a friendship. I don’t want to ruin the dynamic I’ve got with my friends and I don’t want to complicate anything in my life at the moment by making a stupid mistake as in believing this girl is into me when really it might just be that I’m seeing what I want to see. But she can go very far in what she says to me and if she wants to fuck, I really want to fuck her too.
Damn. Now I want to fuck her too. You paint a vivid picture, sweetie.
Here’s the thing. Odds are, she wants to experiment, even if it’s just once. If you want it to be with you, the trick is to make her feel safe and let her know that it won’t affect the friendship.
You’re both girls, but to pull this off you’re gonna have to man up. She’s a flirt, a tease. She’s the type who likes it when guys take control. Well, now that guy is you. You have to make the first move. It has to be firm. No hesitation.
Pick an evening where it’s just the two of you. Set the mood. Plan it out in your mind. Hell, this weekend is Valentine’s Day. You’re both broken up. It’s a perfect opportunity to playfully be each others valentines. Make it a girls night and don’t take it too seriously. Once you’re back at your place and both slightly toasted, pin her up against the wall and kiss her like you’ve always wanted to.
Keep going. Whatever you do, don’t stop. Don’t start talking, and don’t get all giggly. Just get lost in the moment, and you’ll be naked together in no time.
Afterwards, you can both blame it on Valentine.
Or, you can fuck each other again.
Best of luck.