Advice

On saying weird shit during sex

Okay: Four dates, spread out over two months. On the fourth date, dude tells me he loves me–twice–while he is inside of me. I didn’t respond. I am not in love with this person.

My question: Was that a fucked up move on dude’s part? I’m not furiously angry or anything, just kind of… bleck. Have this feeling of “Yeah that was unfortunate, maybe fucked up” feeling about it.

 

As a general rule, people are allowed to say weird shit when they’re fucking me and I don’t hold it against them. It’s an intimacy thing. If a dude needs to say he loves me to cum, I’m okay with it, and after four dates, I also know not to take it personally. (Believe me, I’ve heard much stranger shit than “I love you.”) That being said, if he keeps it weird afterwards by repeatedly wanting to talk about it or if he continues to make inappropriate professions of love, then that’s something you should squash quickly.

I don’t hear you telling me that this guy is falling too hard for you. I hear you complaining about some words he said during sex. One is a problem, the other is just a minor kink. You’ll soon know which one you’ve got on your hands, and in the meantime, don’t let the weirdness stick to you. Shake that shit off and go about your day.

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182 thoughts on “On saying weird shit during sex

  1. Qwerty Bob says:

    because as Tina Turner says on her 1984 (yes, it’s been that long) album, Private Dancer, “What’s love got to do with it?”

      • Gabriel says:

        Wow. I’m literally the only one here who has said they would tolerate someone telling me “I love you” while we were having sex together and I’m the psychopath. Fucking unbelievable.

        • Chris says:

          On a totally separate note, there has been some fantastic research about how to spot cognitive dissonance online.

          When someone answers with “wow” was one of the big tells.

          Cognitive dissonance can occur when you hear or see something that contradicts your own beliefs. Your brain cannot necessarily accept the info, so your honest reaction is “wow,” like “wow, I just can’t believe that,” because you actually cannot believe it; your brain won’t allow you to yet.

          • Jessica Sen says:

            I like cognitive dissonance. I like constantly fucking with my worldview. It’s like the Paris Syndrome, where Japanese tourists can’t reconcile their romantic image of Paris with the actual gritty reality of it. I want to kill all illusions and see the real thing and still fall in love with it.

  2. it's clear says:

    The fuck are you talking about Coke? That’s a red flag. “I love you” during sex is for “making love” during special anniversaries (if you’re into that).
    But these two aren’t in love. These two barely even know eachother. This dudes got a screwloose and she better be careful.
    Idk what shit you deem weirder, Coke. Talking dirty, perverted, or obscure shit during sex isn’t weirder, unless it suggests pediophilia or something downright disturbing.

    Does anyone agree with me? And suppose he does have to say “I love you” in order to cum, is that really the type of headcase you want to take on? I mean get real.

    • Chris says:

      I see where you’re coming from, “i love you” is a very intense thing to be told. But I think you’re missing what Coquette is saying. Saying something in the moment to get off is not the same thing as inappropriately showing gestures of love when the other person isn’t comfortable.

      (I once knew a guy that needed to yell “kill me” to cum, which I personally found way weirder)

      • it's clear says:

        Yelling “Kill me” in order to cum, isn’t so much weird as it is odd, and psychotic.

        Just “I love you” has prerequisites that are universally known. People can’t be telling others “I Love You” when there’s no way in hell. I get where Coke is coming from, but disagree. As a man, we don’t say “I love you” to women we barely know. It’s pathetic, and desperate. Any guy who’d ever do that, especially during sex with an almost stranger, is creepy and has real serious issues.

        • Chris says:

          What I’m getting from what you’re telling me is that men shouldn’t say “I Love You” because it makes them weak.

          I understand that feeling, I’ve often felt the same way as a man. But I would argue that men who are able to say “I Love You,” whether they’re sure they mean it or not, are actually really brave.

          • it's clear says:

            Dude, I say “I love you” to my girlfriend of 2+ years who I LOVE.

            I knew I loved her for at least a month before I actually said it. It does take bravery. But new love should be processed somewhat. You don’t have to blurt it the first second you sense it. It’s the best most exciting feeling in the world but infatuation and beauty and sex can imitate love damn well. People are too quick to say it if you ask me.
            And I don’t think it’s weak. I’m saying if you haven’t dated a person for at least ~4-6 months, hanging out with them regularly, adventuring with them and experiencing them in all sorts of different scenarios in order to truly get to know them and understand them, then you’re out of your mind and MOST LIKELY under the influence of infatuation and beauty. Love means I’m fucking here for this person, they’re important to me. I want to go the distance with them. And that requires time, meaningful time.

            This scenario we are discussing isn’t that. The guy is saying a serious thing, way too soon, in a setting where it suggests a lack of insight (to say the least). He’s clingy, or troubled. I’d bet money on it.

        • Chris says:

          (comment system is being a little weird, so replying to your below comment up here)

          I see where you’re coming from now. I’m gay as shit, so I think I just have a very different experience with love and vulnerability and it’s clouding my judgements. Sorry for making assumptions.

          Still, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with experimenting with saying the words just to cum. What I gather from what Coke’s saying is that saying “I love you” and really meaning it are two very different things, and that the dude is only insecure and clingy if he shows signs of meaning it later.

          • it's clear says:

            No worries man. I’ve made some assumptions myself. Thanks for considering my POV.

            And I understand what you’re saying, and what Coke is saying. If there aren’t any worrisome actions outside the bedroom… then roll with it. But I’m ultimately skeptical. Maybe this guys an anomaly. But my advice to OP is: be wary.

        • Cuttlefish says:

          Saying ILY super early is creepy, but stop with the “as a man, we…” shit. You are not qualified to speak on behalf of half the world’s population. Speak on behalf of yourself. That’s enough.

          • it's clear says:

            Nah dude, but I’ll reiterate that especially as a man you come off like a desperate creepy clown saying “I love you” during sex with somebody who isn’t in love with you.

    • Put says:

      You’re a fucking idiot child if you don’t realize someone could easily say “I love you” by accident during sex, especially while they’re cumming. They really mean “I love your pussy/your cock/fucking you” but the words get a bit jumbled. This is not necessarily disturbing. Like at all.

      • Penelope says:

        I’m sorry but saying the l word during a fucking cannot be forgiven…I mean ew! And ugh! And its 2017! No just no.

        • G says:

          Really? A fetish for love is disgusting? I don’t get half the commenters here. It’s basically the most acceptable fetish there is. Now, making a cult of it, there’s a problem.

    • Jessica Sen says:

      You guys. You’re missing the point of what Coquette is saying here. When you orgasm (not just non-orgasm sex but you actually fucking cum), a fuckload of oxycontin is released in your brain. That makes you feel like you’re in love, but like any drug it chemical, it wears off and you’re left feeling different.

      He said it in a moment of high-surging oxyxontin. It ain’t gonna last. It’d nothing to take serious.

      After all, does anything last in the world? No.

    • WhoAmI says:

      I’ve said “I love you” during sex to my ex-boyfriend a couple time on not at all special occasions. It’s just your hormones making you say shit during a good fucking.

  3. RocketGrunt says:

    On the topic of weird shit people say during sex, I’m pretty sure the most recent guy I slept with asked a question with the words “butt pirate” in it. I just said “…what?” and he repeated the question. I think it was something along the lines of, “are you a butt pirate?” I then pretended he hadn’t said anything because I was so confused.

  4. Camille says:

    I had a guy tell me he loved me during sex three weeks in and tried to give me a key to his place after. Run. Guys like that are the neediest headcases ever.

  5. veryMobile says:

    My response could be complete garbage, you have been warned. Maturity level would be a big clue as we test these words when we’re young to see how well they fit.

    In my personal experience saying “I love you” during sex is either a window or an excuse. It’s a window if he has trouble expressing feelings outside of sex. That could be a warning flag that he actually is keeping you at an emotional distance. The question to ask directly might be, “do you have sex with people you don’t love?”

    If it’s an excuse, I mean it in the context of him apologizing for fucking you by lying about loving you. In which case you might try seeing if his behavior is perfectly in line with loving you, and deciding whether it’s the kind of love you want.
    There’s tons of reasons he might have said it. Usually it’s a need for “call and response.”
    But now the beautiful possibility. He might actually love you before you’re ready for it. Guys fall faster than women. It’s not impossible that he’s completely smitten and you have his tiny, vulnerable, heart.
    So what do you want for yourself, and what do you want for him? Will you give him the gift of secure intimacy?

    • Jessica Sen says:

      Yes.

      Teach me. How does the man have the tiny heart of mature love while the woman is the agent of seductive force?

      If so? How can the woman meet in middle? How can she give herself to death as equally as she gives her new partner to death without real grief so much as resilience?

      How can she ever know her partner if all she’s shown her are magic tricks and clever illusions? There’s no permission granted.

      While we’re at it, our parents tell us to turn the heater off while we’re out and we keep forgetting because we are distractable Millennials.

      What do we do about this situation? Does saying “fuck you all” solve the situation? No. Does therapy help? It does but it will take more time than you have patience for. What then?

      A miraculous solution? Meet the guy and fall so deeply it takes 5-10 years to crawl out of? Pursue a “career path” that ultimately proves completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things? Pay your rent and greet your parents? Only the last one seems a viable solution.

      Is there a miracle cure for this shit? Is there not? Will I one day wake up and feel … ‘fixed’?? Will I only day wake up and feel invincible again?

      No. I think not. I think it’s going to be the steady humdrum of life as we know it, stopping at a freak moment, going on and going whether we like it or not.

      Does that make me scared? Hell us. Does that make me give up? No, sometimes feels close but no.

      I’d like some penpals if you guys are down. Create a false email address and email me and we can talk about whatever bothers our fancy.

      jessiesent@gmail.com

      Let’s talk and figure shit out,

      Jess

      • WrkrB says:

        Fucking troll recruiting for goodness knows what. But she namedropped Cq so I’m sure some readers are tempted to believe her but please exercise caution because in this thread she tried to influence someone to kill themselves and/or bring a baseball bat with them to a therapy session.

        • Jessica Sen says:

          You misunderstand me. I sincerely smelt suicidal ideation in him because he’s so angry. I typed that in earnest. The baseball bat in therapy’s office was a joke, obviously.

          I’m not recruiting, I’d just like penpals because it’s nice to know what people in other parts of the world are doing and going through.

  6. grouch says:

    Coke’s answer seems spot-on to me, if someone brought me something from the chip truck when I was hungry, I might say “I love you”. Context is everything.

  7. yourmom says:

    Based on what was written I assumed the dude was telling his penis, and not the girl, “I love you.” I also read it the way Grouch did.

    • Chris says:

      Scene: Man with woman having conventional, but passionate, sex:

      Woman: “I’m gonna fuck you until you have my baby.”

      Honestly, it was kind of amazing.

      • Lucy says:

        Woah! Totally get that you would have that response, but I would immediately freak out if someone said that to me (cis woman, 23, with a mum that got pregnant really easily). I have a morbid fear of pregnancy, which I can easily manage on a normal day, and not if someone said to me in that context. I think it would immediately end the sex we were having.

        So then if people can have dramatically different emotional reactions to “I love you”, or “have my baby,” maybe it’s inappropriate to say things like that to a new partner.

          • Penelope says:

            Motherhood?! No thanks! I’ll have a screaming orgasm on a BBC instead of a screaming baby…lame…

          • Nona says:

            What you do with a crying baby is sooth it by cradling it while whispering high pitched cooing sounds. Trust me it works.
            Compare that to a goddamn dog. Lifelong responsibility of an animal that can never teach itself to go to the loo. Fucking nightmare.

          • Chris says:

            I’ve got 4 kids, and I’d take another before I ever got a dog.

            My wife called me at work one time because she was at some event where a very skilled shelter employee was basically saying that my wife could take the dog or it’ll go straight to the incinerator. Then talked about all the conditions dogs are in, so she called me to talk about it.

            Hearing it all I said, ‘there are children in similar situations, and I’d rather save one of them. Let’s take foster parenting classes.’

          • Nona says:

            This is actually one of the most fascinating videos I’ve seen in years, and it really reminds me about this one about chickens that got me hooked on bird visual cognition: https://youtu.be/_dPlkFPowCc

            Why I’m fascinated​:
            1) the position gives the baby posture and limits erratic limb movements
            2) the babies seem to concentrate their gaze
            3) the babies stop crying.

            Why other people should be fascinated :
            – imagine being a newborn, you are discovering breathing air, seeing light, hearing non in utero sounds
            – you discover that you have to scream to survive or alleviate pain and hunger, you have parents or tarecakers that respond to that
            – THEN by the time you’re a couple weeks old, you learn you should gaze into the irises surrounded by white that your near sighted eyes see only when their faces are close. You learn at the 5th week of age that smiling is good.
            – through all this your are learning posture. At birth, your limbs were flailing everywhere, because just like for your lungs, your kidneys and your digestive tract, those developmental genes needed to have mechanical stimulation to keep active. Sure you’re born with grasping and walking reflexes and others that are valuable in diagnostics and originate from arborial primate ancestors, but those will disappear in a few weeks.

            Soon you’re left with crying, gazing and smiling as your source gaining enough resources to gain bipedalism and independance.

            I’m honestly fascinated by how as soon as the two children’s needs for attention to contact, gaze and posture are met, they become so bloody attentive.

  8. Tp17 says:

    So common. I’ve had more than a few guys with love professions while fucking. Also, those wishing to impregnate you. Or hell, the other spectrum of all the whore language people love. I agree with Coke- sex talk doesn’t mean shit unless they’re freakazoids afterwards.

    • penelope says:

      What assholes all those dudes musta been tho. Who even thinks of love when fucking it’s called fucking for a reason, you passive agressively resent the person you’re doing it with duh.

  9. Gabriel says:

    Im a guy. A girl said she loved me THE FIRST TIME WE FUCKED. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT. THE NERVE. I threw her out of bed and dumped her ass immediately of course. I can see you all agree with me on this one right ladies? High fives and eight balls all around. Ciao!

  10. Jamal says:

    My first time I told my gf I loved her, she said it back – it was a genuinely sweet moment. Now if one of my booty calls, or a girl I recently met, said that to me while fucking (or right after), yyyeeeaaahhh that would be awkward af. Also in my opinion it would be a huge red flag that the girl ain’t right, and doesn’t understand the difference between lust and love.

  11. Truedat says:

    Hey Coke, have you ever heard the old addage said by a very famous man “blessed are the meak for they shall inherit the earth”?? Let me guess here: you don’t even associate with anyone meak, let alone “fuck” them…do you?

  12. Michael says:

    Words mean different things to different people. I wouldn’t say “I love you” during sex, but only because it wouldn’t occur to me. The phrase just doesn’t hold strong meaning to me. If someone said it to me during sex I probably wouldn’t register it as anything unusual.

  13. Nona says:

    I’ll always remember when I told my first true lover and fuckbuddy that I loved him for the first time.
    Three years later we’re two young uns still sticking together. The beginning was so fucking awkward. The only way you could make it more awkward would be to film and televise our admission of love.

  14. Florence says:

    Why is everyone assuming that this is a heterosexual pairing? We know there’s a penis and penetration, but we don’t know who’s being penetrated.

    • Apricot says:

      This is a good point actually, though I’m not sure coke assumed. I think the people weighing in are basing on personal experience. How do you think the couple being homosexual would change the situation?

      • Jessica Sen says:

        Ok. This thread smells.

        Have you seen Beauty and the Beast? Belle falls in love literally because he has rescued her from wild wolves, an incident which occurred only because he entrapped her in his fucking castle in the first place?

        Love (or rather monogamous label-laden imprinting) occurs often when a fuck load of adrenaline is released. Danger situations. Crisis situations. How real is that? Propelled by fear, acting by (existential) anxiety?

        I call bullshit.

        I want to find love and I’ve cleared my mind of all bullshit imagery of it.

      • Florence says:

        Agreed, I don’t think Coke assumed. I’m just noticing that the tendency of others was to assume that this was a woman writing in. Could easily have been a man. And I don’t think that that changes much of anything, really. Just making observations.

  15. Jessica Sen says:

    Gabriel – don’t kill yourself in 6 months. I smell that coming. You are so angry and I don’t know what happened to you to make you that way, but I’m sorry the world works this way. I don’t understand it. But I sure as hell see it coming. Toxicity – you do know you can get rid of it from your blood and brain, don’t you? Love.

        • Cuttlefish says:

          He doesn’t strike me as serious so much as desperate for attention and engagement. Probably a lonely little dude who indulges in virulent misogyny (but only when able to do so anonymously) to try and feel less powerless. It’s too sad to even be embarrassing, really. 🙁

    • Monochromicorn says:

      I suspect he’s my little brother.

      If so: GTFO! These are my friends. Mom said you have to leave us alone.

  16. easygoingmister says:

    I have less of a problem with this, and would most probably let it pass in the moment than say that time that dude stopped the sexing to go throw up, and came back expecting to pick up where he left off. WTF!

    • Gabriel says:

      You know what’s fucking hilarious and pitiful at the same time? That you fucking joyless shrewy bitches have a fucking problem at all with someone saying I love you when you’re giving each other the historically utmost expression of romantic love two people can give each other. God forbid someone say the word fucking associated with what the act is about. If this were some other time period and I was forced into an arranges marriage with one of you fucking cunts we would have a case of freak accidental death by blunt force trauma by an “errant flying baseball bat”. Fucking cunts can’t learns gud.

      • Chris says:

        You’re providing some entertainment here, and it’s great and all, but what’s really going on?

        The way you write shows that you are obviously educated, but something is seriously the fuck up.

        Really. What’s up?

          • Chris says:

            Okay, but EasyGoingMister said saying I Love You is fine, and much better than the dude who vomited, then was all like, ‘hey hot momma, let’s do some more of that.’

            To which you went ape shit talking about bitches, cunts, and baseball bats.

  17. Gabriel says:

    No, dumbfuck. She said he has “less of a problem with it” and therefore has a problem with it, along with the rest of you joyless, shrewy, bitchy cunts. She’s not “Fine” with it and much like I implied, in so many words, the world would be better off if all of you diagnosable narcissists here were simply beaten to death with baseball bats.

      • Nona says:

        Psst. He’s compensating for something in his pants.

        (also I got kind of excited when you said bats. I thought we were going to talk about tiny flighted mammals that sleep upside down in temples, use echolocation and carry rabies – lovely creatures.)

    • easygoingmister says:

      Assumptions dilute accuracy and clear understanding, “Gabriel”.

      1. I’m a dude.
      2. I’ll parse my own words—no need to assist.
      3. You were amusing at the beginning of this thread.
      4. Now I find you tiresome.

  18. RocketGrunt says:

    I got so excited when I saw how high the number of comments got. I thought everyone was sharing crazy things they’d heard during sex.

    Turns out it was just people taking troll bait instead of letting silly troll comments sit shamefully alone in the corner where they belong.

    Also, I once had to stop sex to go throw up.

    • Chris says:

      Yeah, I’m not very experienced with members of the online SWAT* team, and accept the blame for trying to be a decent human to someone who is just a shit stain on the sidewalk of this site.

      *SWAT = Shitheads, Weasels, Assholes, and Turds.

    • Soooooo says:

      Ah naw. Nope. Unless ur dick was handcrafted at the top of mount Olympus, I’d never see u again. I’ll take I love u, have my babies, r u gon swallow this nut, anything over vomit or shit.

      If ur a woman, I don’t do girls so I can’t tell u how I would’ve reacted lol. Being a woman, I’d probably be sympathetic, but being mostly straight, I’d probably be turned off from that forever lol.

    • Grouch says:

      That would be awesome. I’d share the weird things I’ve heard during sex, but that would be the empty set right about now…

      • Soooooo says:

        I’ve done that too. I think they like it because it makes them feel like their dick is big. Or they r into some s&m shit and stuffed their dick down my throat so that I would throw up. But I’m still anti-vomit.

        • Chris says:

          It’s from too much porn. The vomit blowjob used to be really fringe, but now – as Coke once put in a piece here – every porn actress during her month or so in the business will have a scene or five where she’s being throat-fucked by some, usually anonymous, dude.

  19. Jessica Sen says:

    Gabriel, did you really just threaten my friends with violence? Coke, how is this shit acceptable here?

    In all seriousness though, get some help. And don’t bring a baseball bat into your therapy session. That shit’s socially unacceptable.

  20. Soooooo says:

    So r u going to keep fucking him or nah?

    The sex sounds good. That happened to me a few times and I froze, and then I kept popping my pussy. The dick was fire.

    We could’ve done love, but the way my life was set up back then, I only had room for his perfect penis. He was cool with that.

  21. WrkrB says:

    I didn’t think anything Gabrel said was that heinous. Someone being surprised that, “I love you” is a taboo thing to say during sex is not a wrong reaction nor is it one that should be met with incredulity. If one cannot stretch their mind to understand that reaction then I agree with Gabriel’s assessment that they are a narcissist. I questioned Jessica Sen’s motivations during the troll invasion around the election and do not trust her. Let it be clear that Jessica Sen brought up suicide when speaking to Gabriel which he did not do and encouraging suicide is a tactic that got called out in coverage of the troll invasions.

    • Gabriel says:

      Thankyou. Expect your comment and the rest of mine, however, to be deleted. Bringing up narcissism around @coketweet bring crys of “projection” and “misogynist” and “but there are worse personality disorders”. For the record there objectively is no more destructive a personality disorder to society than narcissistic.

      • M says:

        Hey hon go find your way over to r/raisedbynarcissists to relish in your victimhood. While I’m inclined to agree that some of the worst people I’ve met are narcissists, it might be even worse of a trait to be so limited in your understanding and compassion towards others. Hurt people hurt others. People were not just born narcissists, they became that way for many reasons. Maybe try rising above with the knowledge that these people are deeply hurt and are living shells of existence because they will never allow themselves to be truly vulnerable, thus never truly connect. Honestly, when I see narcissists, I just feel bad for them, what a shit way to live if you could never truly love.

        • Gabriel says:

          Let’s not pretend that narcissists don’t lead fantastic lives where, in their heads, they are the center of the universe. They are almost always content in this fantasy and rarely fall to earth where the rest of us dwell. And on top of this modern western society rewards them for this fantasy and for being opportunistic and ruthless. They tend to rise to the top of corporations and pop culture. You will not convince me to take it easy on these monsters. That is what society has done so far and it has not worked. Every invading army ever? Lead by a narcissist whose society permitted and even nurtured that narcissism, guaranteed. I say NO FUCKING MORE lest humanity is utterly destroyed.

          • WhoAmI says:

            You failed to describe correctly even just one of the subtypes of narcissists. I don’t know what you think you’re saying.

          • WhoAmI says:

            Honey, nobody likes being around most narcissists for too long and I’m no exception, but that doesn’t mean they’re inhumane monsters.
            You have no right to call bullshit when your grasp of mental health is so poor.

          • Gabriel says:

            Holy shit. Obviously I’m not referring to the severe ones who can’t even maintain a relationship (though they’re terrible in the own right) I’m talking about the undiagnosable ones who just come off as alpha assholes, but who can be plainly described with the term narcissist. If you can’t make the small leap of putting two and two together? well then fuck you and keep your opinions to your self.

          • Jessica Sen says:

            Don’t fucking talk to my friend this way. Whoami is no narcissist and you are making a blanket assumption that all of us are, without any basis. Just stop. I’m sending in a request to Coke to moderate your comments from now on.

          • WhoAmI says:

            lmao Jessica I just realised what you meant, but my gay ass is not gonna change that pink triangle avatar !

    • Jessica Sen says:

      Not that I have to justify myself but to put it in context, I was writing from a long term stay in a mental hospital and I was a little loopy. Besides, I like to write in riddle. It doesn’t make me malignant. I wasn’t encouraging suicide, I was trying to prevent it by asking him to get help.

  22. Jamal says:

    Okay weirdest shit ever said to me while fucking: I had a white bitch call me a black African motherfucker while I was giving her backshots – that shit caught me off guard. Had to warn her bout that afterward, cause I ain’t with all that racial fetish bullshit.

    • Soooooo says:

      I had sex with a white guy who kept asking me things like is his dick better than black guys? Do black guys fuck like this? Etc, I’m like oooookkkkkkkkay stop.

      • Jamal says:

        Damn lol that’s some weird shit. Don’t know what I woulda done if she did something like that. What happened with me just caught me a bit off gaurd but it didn’t stop us. I just kept going, told her to catch this nut, warned her to take it easy and called it a night.

  23. Jessica Sen says:

    I like to fuck with the blinds open, but I will not allow a guy to film me. A passing stranger seeing me get fucked turns me on, the whole internet seeing me get fucked is terrifying.

    My most recent relationship started with nights of BDSM. He liked me to treat him like shit, say nasty things, be almost abusive. I could play the role for about a week, even hypnotized him. Then I started to fall in love with him and couldn’t treat him that way any more. I know it was part of sex play but I couldn’t separate because when I love someone I just want to have sickly intimate “I love you” sex with them.

    Our sex life got infinitely more boring but our relationship was the best. He was my best fucking friend.

  24. Jessica Sen says:

    How long do you guys take to fall in love? Sometimes it takes me one intense week with someone. Sometimes months and months.

    What is falling in love to you?

    To me, it’s knowing that I could be in the shittiest place with the person and still be thrilled.

    • Chris says:

      Depends. If I’m on the train heading to NYC I’m liable to fall in love every now and then.

      And then I get the hell out of there before I end up with full custody in the divorce!

    • Jules says:

      Personally, I’ve only ever been in love once and it took about three months to seal the deal. In between that time, we had steamy, kinky sex and included other people in our playtime. Once I fell in love with him, I was emotionally unable to do this stuff again, so I hear you on your previous comment re: “sex life got infinitely more boring but our relationship was the best”, hahaha.

  25. annnnnnna says:

    I was a teenager on birth control pills. My first lover and I were fucking on a washing machine when his foreskin broke. I’ve blocked out his exact words, but they must have been something like “my dick is bleeding”.

    Of course, I was very sympathetic about his condition. The amount of his blood inside me naturally correlated with how calm and helpful I had to be.

    • Chris says:

      Ha! Totally not relevant. How many stitches?

      This is more akin to the scene in “The War of the Roses” where the girl and her boyfriend are fucking in the car and she says, “my house is on fire,” and he says, “yeah, baby, my house is on fire, too.”

      “No, my actual house is on fire!”

  26. Jessica Sen says:

    I’m horrified. I really wanted to go dancing so I hit up a couple bars and a club. I went with two assholes who kept urging me to leave and go to a hotel room with them. I told them I wasn’t interested and that I simply wanted to dance. There was a girl there that grooved the fuck out with me. The men seemed to find that a turn on and kept plying me with beer (very bad beer). Finally the girl left and I grabbed my backpack and walked the fuck out of there. I’m so sick of sex and the things people do to acquire it. I just wanna dance. I like to dance.

  27. KittyNinja says:

    I have this fun skeptics game where inconsistent and lazy characters are considered trolls until they provide some complex thought coupled with a spot of compassion. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help out non-native English speakers, so I gotta be a little forgiving.

    Besides, people stuck in circular, angry thinking don’t respond any better than trolls.

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