i have horribly strict parents who, although i am 22 years old, still feel that they must control where i go and what i do. i can’t be out past 9 at night and whenever i ask to leave the house with friends they get angry and tell me life isn’t about just partying. i’m a 4.0 student at school and i don’t drink or do drugs. how can i convince them to just let me live my life?

Let me guess. Asian female? Yeah. Stop trying to convince your parents to just let you live your life. It’s a waste of energy. Instead, just fucking live it.

You’re an adult, after all. Disobedience is not the same thing as disrespect, and you are under no legal obligation to live under a curfew.

Don’t ask permission to stay out late. Simply let them know that you will be home by midnight, and then keep your word.

There will be consequences for this behavior. You should be prepared to accept them, but at the same time don’t allow punishment for rules that you deem overly strict. Begin to enforce your own will over your governance. Act like an adult, and they will have no choice but to treat you like one.

The worst case scenario you’re facing is being kicked out of the house, but who are we kidding? It’s not going to come to that, especially if you keep your grades up and stay out of trouble.

We’re talking about personal freedoms here. You don’t ask for them. You take them. Obviously, it’s a delicate situation when you still haven’t left the nest, but it sounds like you’re long overdue for a little spreading of your wings.

This will be a gradual process, and no doubt a very stressful one. Still, it’s the natural order of things. It’s time to start standing up for yourself.