Advice

On the biebs in brazil

Do you have any opinions on the whole situation with Justin Bieber and the prostitute? I know basically nothing about the culture or norms surrounding sex work, but I feel like it was maybe a little rude of her to reveal she slept with him? I dunno, I feel like confidentiality would be kinda important.


1. Not sure if she’s a prostitute.

2. Not sure if she’s the one who made the video public.

3. Not even sure if she and the Biebs exchanged any bodily fluids.

Honestly, the clip looks like some Brazilian hoochie got lost on her way to the bathroom, found the kid taking a party nap, and decided to blow him a kiss in a tacky-as-fuck video selfie.

The only thing more pathetic than her instinct to memorialize the occasion is the fact that it’s been viewed over eleven million times on YouTube.

Quite frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself for even asking me a question this stupid. As penance, you must now go memorize the names and accomplishments of this year’s Nobel Prize winners.

Yes. All of them.

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