does instant messaging with a man twice my age who’s married to a wife i really admire and who just had an adorable baby make me feel nervous and guilty because i know he and i mutually think one another are awesome and even though i would never never never do anything, this is the way people who do things start out, or is it because i’d just like to tell myself i wouldn’t but I really would?
You’d never never do anything? Bullshit. If the two of you have to hide the instant messages from the wife, then you’ve already crossed the line.
A little flirtation can be harmless. Hell, a lot of flirtation can be harmless, but if it becomes a thing she would be hurt to discover, then you shouldn’t be doing it. The betrayal is in the secret, not the act itself.
Of course, you already know that, which is why you feel nervous and guilty.