Im 30 and I think Ive finally found a guy I can stick with for longer than 3 months. Thing is, one of my ex’s gave me genital herpes and I dont know if I should tell this guy. Ive never told any of my boyfriends between STI guy and current guy but for some reason, with this guy, I keep thinking I should tell him. On the other hand I figure if he proposes, thats when I tell him, haha. Ive never given anyone the virus either btw.
We both know the right thing to do is tell him, but I understand the temptation to play russian roulette with your vagina.
Here’s the deal. You finally found someone you respect enough that you don’t want to lie about your STD. Fine. Congratulations. What you’re really asking me is how to tell him so you don’t lose him.
You’re asking me for secret evil plans.
Normally, I’m not one to advocate manipulation, but I get the sense that if I don’t tell you how to pull this off, you’re just never gonna tell him, and that’s not cool.
If you promise to only use these powers for good, here’s what you do:
First, let him know that you’re going to get yourself tested for STDs. Let it be casual, like it’s part of an annual checkup. Don’t ask him to get tested. It doesn’t involve him at all. All you’re doing is softening the ground so later he doesn’t ask why you felt you needed to get tested. If it seems like routine lady business, guys will never question it.
Go down to Planned Parenthood and get tested for everything. When the test comes back positive for the herp, call him up and freak the fuck out. You’re scared. You’re angry. You’re incredibly upset at the news. You don’t make any accusations, and who knows where you might have gotten it, but you demand he get tested.
Now you’re in it together. Not only have his protective instincts kicked in, but he’s nervous that he might have herpes, and god forbid, what if he’s the one who gave it to you?
He’ll get tested. If it comes back positive, then you two can sail off in the same boat. If he comes back clean, he will be infinitely less likely to break things off with you. He’ll want to comfort you. He’ll want to be adult about it. After all, the two of you have been brought so much closer by the experience.
Before long, you’ll be sending him to the drug store to pick up your Valtrex.