On the metamorphosis of a douchebag

I used to play it off as being a hopeless romantic. I am actually calculating, manipulative, and emotionally stunted. I use my charisma to get what I want. How do I tell the girl I’m seeing that I’m basically Patrick Bateman?

You’re not Patrick Bateman. Patrick Bateman wasn’t even Patrick Bateman. You’re just a garden variety asshole, and trust me, you don’t need to run off and tell the girl you’re seeing. She already knows.

What you should do instead is take this minor revelation and use it to change your behavior. You don’t have to remain emotionally stunted. You can stop being manipulative. You can bury your charisma in the dirt where it belongs, because up to now all you’ve been doing is embarrassing yourself.

Grow, douchebag. Grow.


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