My roommate Chris is a legend. He moved in 6 months ago and is someone who I’m sure will be a friend for life.
Problem is, he has this annoying cockatiel. It’s an utterly terrible pet. It makes noises like a car alarm and let’s just say it’s a morning bird. It’s also unfriendly, even to Chris, biting the hand that feeds.
For some reason he loves this bird. Personally, I think it would be better for both of us if it was gone. We’ve talked about it but he’s too attached. I don’t get it- this thing has the pointlessness of a fish combined with the noise of a dog. An absolute mood killer.
I’ve thought long and hard but get the shakes every time my hand gets near the cage door. What should I do?
Your hand shakes, eh? You want the bird gone, but you don’t have what it takes to do what needs to be done?
Yeah, well. I know a guy. Ex-military, a real professional. He knows how to deal with your particular problem. He works fast, and he can keep a secret.
I think it’s time you brought in The Colonel.