my mother in law and i have never seen eye to eye, but over the years i have tried very hard to see her through the eyes of someone who loves her.  i have come to accept that i cannot change her and her behavior, i can only change myself. need to stop letting her words/actions effect me.  so here is the issue:

we have two sons, 14 and 16. my husband is in the military so we have moved all over.  my MIL has made little or no effort over the years to bond with or forge any sort of relationship with my sons. (we have put in a lot of effort trying to arrange visits, going to see her, buying her plane tickets to come here, yet it is still a problem) in reality, all she wants is a relationship with her son. (wondered if i was imagining this so i brought it up with my husband and he didnt even disagree with me) i understand that i must learn to accept what she has got to give. i dont think it would be so difficult if it were about her not liking me alone. but it involves my children and that makes me very upset. however, i’m tired of being angry, tired of feeling hurt. can you help point me in the right direction? how to let go of my anger/resentment and move past it?

First, I’m going to point you here. I think you’ll find it to be a shockingly accurate description of your mother-in-law. The old cunt is a narcissist, plain and simple.

Next, I’m going to point you here. It’s specifically for daughters of narcissists, but I think you’ll find the material applies perfectly well to daughters-in-law.

Good luck.