Advice

On transitions and condolences.

Dear Coquette,

I’m a senior in college, and I’ve never been happier in my life about my social network, work, hobbies and just about everything else. Every time I remember that it’s going to change in four months, I feel way too many feelings and I want to cry. I’m so scared of moving away from my friends, my boyfriend and my amazing mentor. It’s sort of getting in the way of enjoying the good things I have going on.

What’s your advice on appropriately mourning and enjoying the good stuff right before and during transition? Should I just get some mood stabilizers?

Mourning? Mood stabilizers? Ugh, what a drama queen.

Cry all you want. Laugh all you want. Take lots of pictures. Whatever. You’ve got six months left to party it up in your walled garden. If you’re too delicate and sentimental to enjoy the hell out of it, that’s your loss.

You’re an adult now. The rest of your life will be nothing if not a series of brutal transitions, so get used to this new flavor while it’s still more sweet than bitter.


My former best friend’s dad just died. We never had a falling out or anything; our lives just moved apart. Is it more wrong to talk to her after a few years of relative silence or to ignore it?

Call your friend. Offer your condolences and whatever support you can give. You may have grown apart over the years, but this is one of those times when none of that matters.

Don’t ignore it. I promise, one day you’ll regret not picking up the phone.

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