I really like a guy and we’ve been dating for a few months but the sex is getting borderline painful because I’ll be turned on but then get super bored. What do I do. I haven’t orgasmed yet either even though he thinks I have. I feel like shit.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, USE YOUR WORDS. Talk with your sexual partners. Communicate.
The next time you’re in bed, start a conversation. It can be before you fuck, after you fuck, or while you’re fucking. It really doesn’t matter. Just pick your moment and say the words, “Hey, I wanna talk about how we fuck…” and then let it go from there.
Be frank, open, and honest about what you like, what you don’t like, what you need, and what gets you off. Find out the same things from him. Let it all come from a place of love and respect. Don’t take any of it too seriously, and don’t be afraid to laugh.
Also, don’t be afraid to get interactive. If talking only gets you part of the way, have a little show and tell. Literally demonstrate what it takes for you to orgasm. I swear, he won’t mind watching. While you’re at it, let him show you what he likes. You might learn a few tricks too.
Communication is the only way to turn bad sex into better sex and good sex into great sex. Go ahead. Talk. Be brave, loving, and respectful, and I promise you’ll be fine.