Advice

On whining

If you would, some advice? I’m stuck at shitty college 20 minutes away from home (that’s an apartment my mother, her boyfriend, and their baby). I can’t decide on my major and I am dreading “making friends” with the Disney Channel rejects that live in the same dorms as I. What the fuck am I to do? I know what I want (FUN friends, a job, a car), I just don’t know how to get there.

— Animal

Stuck at a shitty college? Fuck you.

Walk ten minutes in any direction. Stop at whatever fast food shit hole is in your field of vision. Go inside and ask the fat Mexican woman at the counter for a job application. Look her in the eye and say thank you. Walk back to your dorm room and pin that application to the wall next to your desk.

That, my friend, is a job.

What you have is an opportunity for a career. You’re lucky to be at that college. You’re lucky to have Disney Channel dorm-mates. Getting to pick a major is a fucking privilege.

I got my first shitty job when I was fourteen years old. Since then, I’ve earned two degrees and spent well over a decade in my chosen field climbing my way up from entry level bitch to madam fucking executive. None of it has been easy.

My wild weekends? I earn that shit.

You want to know how to get there? Quit whining, get rid of the attitude, and do the fucking work. That’s the only way anything will ever happen.

In the meantime, if you really can’t decide on a major, pick the one with the fewest bullshit prerequisites and that allows the most flexibility in course selection. Your major is absolutely meaningless in the real world, so fill your schedule with whatever classes fascinate you.

Good luck, and I hope you never have to fill out that application.

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