On your silly crushes

I have a knack for developing crushes on men that turn out to be unavailable. I overheard the last guy I had a huge crush on (I work at a coffee shop and every time he came in I would start shaking a little) telling someone that he’s not looking for a girlfriend right now. The guy I currently like is divorced, and it wasn’t that long ago that the marriage ended. I’m assuming he’s fairly unavailable as well. Anyways, is there something wrong with me? It’s not like I see a wedding ring and then I’m attracted to them…I literally just develop very strong crushes on guys that turn out to be unavailable for one reason or another.

If you’re in your late teens or early twenties, then there’s nothing wrong with you that a few good years of maturity won’t naturally fix. If you’re in your thirties, then perhaps you’re a bit of a shallow twit, but even that’s correctable with a little well-timed introspection.

Either way, your problem isn’t what you think it is. I understand why you’d be concerned if you thought you were only capable of being attracted to unavailable men, but that’s not what I’m hearing from you. What I’m hearing is that you seem to have confused infatuation with more legitimate romantic emotions.

Crushes aren’t that big a deal, especially if you’re still in a phase of life where you’re having a lot of them…

Read the rest of this week’s column over at


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