Best-Of Advice

On pressure to have kids

My husband and I have been together 10 years, married for 3 of them. Even before we were married, but especially after, there has been a lot of pressure for us to have kids. Coquette, we just don’t wanna.

We like our lives just as they are. We get to take nice trips and drive nice cars. We just don’t have that urge to be parents.

I do flip flop on this decision every now and then, usually when a close friend has a baby or sometimes when my parents put the “you are robbing us of grand parenthood” pressure on extra thick. I turned 35 yesterday so the point of no return is looming ever closer.

Are we making a huge mistake?

Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it’s you and your husband’s decision to make. No one else’s.

I’m sure your parents are lovely people, but fuck what they think. Fuck the pressure they put on you to make major life decisions for their sake, and fuck their selfish desire to become grandparents at your expense.

This is the world our parents made. The American Dream is a smoldering pile of shit. We’re stuck cleaning up their mess, and yet somehow we’re robbing them of grand-parenthood? Fuck them. That’s what they get for robbing an entire generation of the economic security it takes to responsibly become parents.

Fuck every last Baby Boomer who feels entitled to give any of us shit for our choices. They’re so used to having all their dreams come true, they don’t even know how insulting that shit sounds.


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