Best-Of Advice

On your virginity

How do you know when to give up your virginity? People talk about how it’s a special gift to have but I don’t really see what’s so special about it or who to give it up to. I’m probably not ready to have sex if I’m still asking these questions right?

Virginity isn’t a special gift, because your vagina isn’t a commodity. Whether you’re gifting it or selling it, only prostitutes treat pussy as an article of exchange.

The irony here is that the same sanctimonious pricks who condemn prostitution are the very ones to tell you that your virginity is something that you should hand over to a man under select circumstances. Those people are full of shit, and you should stop listening to what they have to say about your vagina.

The truth of the matter is that your body is nobody’s business but your own. Your virginity is yours to keep, lose, or shrug your shoulders at for as long as you like. You’re ready when you’re ready. If you’re not, just hang tight until it feels right. Despite all you’ve learned from popular culture, there is no rush to start fucking.

As for virginity itself, it may not be a gift, but that doesn’t mean it’s not special. You only get to lose it once, and if you bring your heart and mind into the decision, you’re much more likely to be prepared for any emotional or physical consequences.

Sex can get sticky. Literally. Sure, there’s the obvious stuff you learned in health class. Don’t get pregnant, make him wear a condom, and all that. It’s important, but really, those are just the instructions printed on the side of the box.

What they don’t ever really tell you is that once you start having sex, you’re dealing with a sudden increase in the potential depth and breadth of the level of intimacy in your interpersonal relationships. It can be both wonderful and terrible, and it really depends on everyone’s level of emotional maturity.

The most important thing for you to have as you make this decision is self respect. After that, I’d suggest you focus less on how or when to lose your virginity, and more on why.

If you know why you’re doing it, and you respect yourself, whatever else you decide will be fine.


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