While discussing your lack of posts in the last week with a friend I used the phrase “Where is that bitch?” Being two adult males I question whether that was an appropriate term to use. I feel like like two grown men using that phrase is not ok even without malice or ill will other than the want for more posts. Too sensitive?
I’ll allow it. Bitch.
What is emotional currency?
Emotional currency is any medium of exchange used for the transmission of affective states of consciousness between two or more people.
Pretty much anything can be used as emotional currency — smiles, apologies, orgasms, even actual fucking money.
One of the most fundamental characteristics of a person is what they use as emotional currency, and interpersonal compatibility is largely determined by how two people exchange emotional currency.
How many chances do you give someone you’re dating who occasionally says awful things? My benchmark for ‘awful’ is pretty low in most people’s eyes, I’m a self-confessed strident intersectional feminist. I think I’m letting myself down by not kicking him to the curb straight away, even if I do really like him. He’s never made the same shitty comment twice and always apologises and seems to learn… So is this a dumb move, a time for patience or a case of me being a controlling bitch trying to force someone to change? Sorry for rambling.
The quality of your life will improve a thousand fold if you stop using apologies as emotional currency.
You demand them from others as a means of control. You offer them unsolicited as a sign of deference. Hell, you even try and sneak them into your language by saying things like “self-confessed” instead of “self-proclaimed.”
Apologies are built into the source code of your interpersonal communication skills, and even though you’re a perfect stranger, I can tell it’s one of the most annoying things about you.
This is one of those traits you learned from your mother. Trust me, you will do well to unlearn it. Apologies are not for everyday use. They are meant to be rare. They are worthless if demanded, and they are useless as a substitute for respect.
As for your boyfriend, chill the fuck out. I’ve yet to meet a dude who doesn’t occasionally say awful things. If you can call a guy out on his shit and he never makes the same mistake twice, then that’s really the best you can ever expect.
It’s interesting that you seem so nonchalant about death, but I was wondering, if you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? I keep asking myself the same question, but I can’t decide if things would become boring or lonely or numbing after a time. All the same though, the lack of existing horrifies me. Even if I know it’s my ego making me feel this way, that knowledge doesn’t exterminate my fear. So, would you live forever if you could?
Please. Our brains aren’t even capable of contemplating forever, much less living it. Immortality is such a ridiculous notion to anyone with the slightest sense of scale.
Sure, if science allowed for it, I’d be down to live a few hundred, maybe even a few thousand years in good health, but you can’t really go beyond one or two orders of magnitude from a natural life span before shit starts getting sticky.
I mean, what are we talking about here? Is this thought experiment one in which you’re a living, breathing immortal, magically destined to walk the earth forever as a biological curiosity? What happens when the rest of the species starts to evolve? Or worse, what happens when another mass extinction event wipes out every living organism except for you? (I can hear you wanting to bring up spaceships. Cool your jets, Gene Roddenberry. That line of thinking creates more problems for you than it solves.)
Then again, maybe we’re talking about some artificially reproduced form of consciousness where you exist indefinitely, snowglobed in a Matrix-like world. I suppose that could work too, but then suddenly we’ve wandered off the philosophical deep end.
Besides, what’s so horrifying about not existing? It’s really not that big of a deal. You did it for billions of years before you were born, and that doesn’t make you the least bit queasy. Why, then, are you so worried about the billions of years that you won’t exist after you die?
I met a guy at a show in Boston last week. This week, he invited me to Vegas for a weekend. I’m into him, work doesn’t start for me until mid-January, and I can always crash at a friend’s place there if things go sour. Am I an insane crazy person for wanting to do this?
If I’m the one you’re asking for permission, then you obviously wanna do it. Go. Have fun. Get laid. Crazy shit like this is the reason Vegas exists. Really, it’s not that big a deal.
Just keep your head screwed on. Make sure you’ve got a reliable friend who knows to check in with you, and keep her updated with your details (room numbers, names of people you’re with, etc.)
A guy I’m super in to really wants to get with me but has a girlfriend. Why don’t I give much of a fuck about that last part?
Because you’ve forgotten the golden rule.
“Fake it till you make it” – how do I know when I’ve stopped faking it and it’s real?
When the check clears.
How do you tell your boyfriend you want him to move out of your place but reiterate that you don’t want to break up?
You’re trying to do too much at once. First, just get him to move out. You can tell him it’s not a break-up all you want, but that doesn’t matter. Deal with salvaging the relationship after the move.
I got sober. So now what?
Keep your shit together and don’t make a big deal out of it.
Are you still a teenager at 19?
Numerically and very often emotionally.
What if I never have good sex?
What if you already have?
What is the proper etiquette for leaving a one night stand the next morning? I just said “It was lovely to meet you.”
That’s about right. I usually like to finish off with a friendly kiss on the cheek and the phrase, “Have a nice life.”
Why am I attracted to guys who always have one foot out the door?
So that you can experience all of the emotional drama without taking any of the emotional risk.
What music did you play at that party with the filthy rich white people?
Music by filthy rich black people. Duh.
Do you make new year resolutions? If so, what are they?
Focus on one or two big things this year instead of a whole bunch of little things. Give all of my fucks to charity. Make out more.
My parents are miserable people with no substance. They see my “best interest” as financial security rather than actual happiness. I go to college next year, and they refuse to pay for me unless I major in business, because it’s “stable”. What do I do? I know what I love, and I have passion, but I don’t have the money to defy my parents and pursue it.
Shut the fuck up and enjoy your complimentary college education, you disrespectful, shortsighted little twat. Major in business, minor or double major in whatever else you want, and then go spend the rest of your ungrateful existence following your bullshit passions until you realize how big of an asshole you were for putting quotation marks around the word stable.
My girlfriend always tells me that I don’t pay enough attention to her or I don’t hold her hand often enough and things like that, but I obviously try my hardest to give her attention. It doesn’t really help that she and one of my pretty good friends basically flirt with each other all the time. Something else that also doesn’t help is that she constantly claims that she feels threatened by her best friend who also happens to be my friend that I kissed at a party almost a year ago, before we were even dating. I haven’t done a thing with her since then, but my girlfriend still claims that she feels threatened. How can I make her feel like she gets enough attention so she won’t flirt with my friend and feel threatened by her friend?
Oh, you adorable little teenager. (You’d better be a fucking teenager.) Here are a few things you should learn early:
1. You are not responsible for your girlfriend feeling threatened by her best friend. That’s not about you, even if you kissed her once. Just stay out of it.
2. Notice when your girlfriend wants you to hold her hand. Is it in front of other people, or is it in private when it’s just the two of you? Those are two completely different needs on her part.
3. No amount of attention will change the content of your girlfriend’s character. If she’s the type to flirt with other dudes or talk shit about her best friend to you, that’s not going to change just because you hold her hand a lot.
4. The dude who flirts with your girlfriend all the time? He’s not your friend.
5. Don’t be surprised when this girl suddenly breaks up with you, and don’t wander around asking her or her friends why she ended things. It won’t matter why, and the coolest thing you could possibly do is not give a shit.
Fuck whoever made the last comment. But seriously, have you heard anything back from the original poster? I was just wondering how things were going. Hope she gives them hell.
Yes, I communicated with her over the holiday. I can’t provide any details except to say that she’s gotten in touch with the right people, and she’s moving forward exactly as she should.
This won’t be the last you’ll hear of her situation.
she was probably just a drunk whore who was ashamed of the sex she had the next morning
Die in a fire.