Work is booking me a hotel on the west side during carmageddon. They asked me how awesome it should be, what hotel should i ask for?

Might I suggest the Hotel Angeleno? It’s that circular building perched right at the base of the Getty by the 405. It’s a former Holiday Inn, but Joie De Vivre renovated the hell out of it a few years back, and it’s pretty decent.

There are other hotels that I would normally recommend, but given the strangeness of carmageddon, I’d pick the Angeleno and request an upper floor room with a view of the interstate. It will be eerie as fuck during the shut down. You’ll have a front row seat, so to speak.

I was “A Girl With Real Problems” a few months ago, and I wanted to give you an update since the time that you answered my cry for help.

My dad used the whole “you’re under 18 and therefore what I say goes” thing on me and stopped me from getting on medication, but I recently turned 18 and was able to take your advice and start the medication for my bipolar and OCD. Let me tell you… it has already made a world of difference. I still have some things to work on, and I need a few more adjustments to the medication, but it already has given me a control on my life that I never had before. Although I couldn’t immediately fix the problem and get on medication right after you answered my question, your kind words and support helped me keep hope when it all started weighing me down.

Thank you so much, Coke Talk!

It’s all you, babe. Give yourself some props. You’re a badass for knuckling down and taking care of yourself. That shit ain’t easy.

Be proud of every step you take towards independence and happiness, and when things get dark, do your best to remind yourself it will get better again.

Keep on keepin’ on.

I met this amazing guy about two weeks ago when he first moved to LA. We have been hanging out about every other day since, so things just happened quickly and I really like him. He says he likes me too . During one of our dates it came up in conversation how odd it is that we two white people are dating because I usually go for Latino guys and he usually goes for Asian girls. So, it seems his only friend in my city is an Asian girl, who he went to Venice beach with, cooked curry with when she went to his house to use his laundry machine, and is going out in Hollywood with tonight with her friends. He says he isn’t seeing anyone else, but am I being paranoid to wonder about this friend? I mean I know people have friends of the opposite sex, but honestly how rare is it that you spend one on one time with a friend of the opposite sex and it doesn’t go anywhere? Especially when he’s gorgeous and likes Asian girls. I want to be trusting but honestly I’m a little worried. I guess I just have to put myself out there and hope for the best, and if it doesn’t work out then I need to accept the bad cheating karma I think I have coming my way? Ugh I have not been this excited about a guy in a long time and he said he feels the same way. I’m loving finally getting swept off my feet but I’m worried he’s this charming with his friend too. Any advice?

Oh, you’re dating Trevor? Yeah, he’s not new to LA. He just moved from Venice Beach to Hollywood. Total player. Hot as fuck. He’s got Asian bitches lined up around the block.

Have fun.

Tomorrow I’m bringing my 16 year old family dog to be euthanised. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I can’t stop taking photos of him. I’ve taken 367 so far. I’m trying not to think about tomorrow, because every time I do, I start tearing up. I don’t even know what I’m asking. How do I cope, maybe? It must seem silly, to be so torn up over a dog. Fuck it, I’m a dog lover and he’s been my best friend since I was a kid.

Been there. It fucking sucks. The vet’s gonna ask if you want to be in the room when they put him down. It’s your call, but know the answer ahead of time.

If you can handle it, I’d recommend being by his side through the procedure. That’s what I did. It’s tough, but being able to hold him, say goodbye, and be there all the way to the end is something you won’t regret.

Cry all you want. Don’t feel silly. Don’t invalidate your emotions just because he’s a dog. He deserves to be mourned, and it’s perfectly okay to be a mess over this.

Hell, I’m wiping away a few tears right now just thinking about it.

I read a post on your blog regarding gay marriage (it’s not recent) where you call anyone who is not in support of gay marriage a small minded bigot? Isn’t that a bit too extreme? Aren’t some people just misguided? Don’t some people just have the right not to support it because of their moral judgement?

Sure, misguided people have the right not to support gay marriage because of their moral judgment. Naturally, I have the right to point out that they are, in fact, small minded bigots.

If you don’t like that, by all means, go fuck yourself.

I don’t get it. You (as a rational human being) abhor the idea and stupidities of marriage, but you applaud New York for passing laws that condone same-sex marriage. Why? Marriage isn’t some great, sacrosanct union. Civil unions based on love, respect and mutual admiration (not to mention sexual interest) are to be cherished. A business contract overwhelmingly consumed by religious idiocies with some legal implications (e.g. marriage) isn’t. So why support the new NY legislature?

Equality, dumbass.

And who gives a fuck what you or I think of marriage? Our personal opinions don’t deserve to be enshrined in legislation. Only assholes think like that.

Dear Coquette,

I’m newly engaged and have started thinking about and talking about wedding plans with my fiancé. We have chosen our bridal party and decided where we want to get married. My mother is not happy with either decision. She insists that my brother should be a groomsman even though my fiancé does not feel he has a close enough relationship to my brother to make him one. My brother is going to be involved in the wedding. He will be walking down our grandmothers and our mother. He will also be giving a speech and will be announced at the beginning of the reception for the entrances. My mother does not think this is good enough because he won’t be at the altar. My fiancé’s stance is that it is our wedding and my mother should just get over it.

My mother is also not happy with our location. We’ve decided we want to get married somewhere that is about four hours away from where we live. My fiancé’s family lives there, and he and I plan to move there once we’re married. My family either lives four hours away or farther. My mother thinks it is unfair for us to pick a location so far away from our family because it is a hassle to travel. He and I are in love with this town, and, like I said, we plan to build our life together there.

The tension is becoming insane and unbearable. I’m afraid to have a conversation with my mother in case she starts ranting about the wedding location or crying because my brother isn’t a groomsman. What do I do, Coquette? Is my fiancé right? Should we just say, Sorry, this is our wedding; we get what we want. Or is there some sort of compromise in this? Also, I’m afraid that the rest of the planning will be like torture because of all this tension already built. The last thing I want is my mother or my fiancé to be miserable on my wedding day because if they’re miserable, I’ll be miserable. Please help.

You’re the bride, sweetheart. That means you’re in charge. Not your mom. Not your fiancé. You. 

Sure, everyone in your family is gonna give you an earful of opinions. But for better or for worse, when conflicts arise, the buck stops with you. Step up and start laying down the law. 

Not that what I have to say should matter in the least, but since you asked, here’s what I think. On the one hand, your crazy-ass mother should quiet down and let you have your wedding wherever you damn well please. On the other hand, your fiancé is being a thoughtless douche for not immediately and graciously allowing your brother to be a groomsman.

Throw your mother a bone. Tell your fiancé that that your brother is gonna be a groomsman, but then insist that your mother shut the hell up about the location. Boom. Done. 

While you’re at it, stop trying to please everyone all the time. It’s impossible and attempting to do so will end in disaster. The sooner you grow a spine and start telling everyone the way it’s gonna be, the sooner they can all start getting over themselves.

Take control. Be firm. This is your day. Own it.

So I’ve recently moved to a foreign country with my family, and I really miss my boyfriend. Our first skype date: we’re talking… my shirt comes off… my bra comes off… my dad walks in (thought the door was locked.) Naturally, he was horrified, disappointed, surprised, etc. What the hell am I supposed to do to earn back his trust? I’m not looking for an easy way out, I know I fucked up, I’m looking for genuine advice on how to make the situation easier. Thanks coketalk.

Chill the fuck out. You gotta laugh at stupid shit like this. It’s fine to be mortified for a day, but then you need the good sense not to take it too seriously.

That goes for both you and your dad. If he can’t get over the fact that you’ve got tits and an internet connection, that’s his problem.

Trust me, you didn’t lose your dad’s trust, and you don’t have to earn it back. You just have to learn to lock your damn door.

Dear Coquette,

I think my dad is cheating on my mum. 

I know this kind of thing happens all the time, but it’s pretty gutting nevertheless.

I found out when I borrowed my dad’s laptop. He forgot to delete his history and log out of some swingers website. His phone constantly beeps with new messages. So, nosy bitch that I am, I had a look through his “profile” and messages on this website. Well, ignorance is indeed bliss.

What I need help on is, what do I do? I’m very close to my mum, but she’s coming out of a very rough year of mental health problems which boiled down to low self-esteem and suppressed emotions from a previous bad relationship. The family as a whole is going through a tough time as it is because my younger brother is in Afghanistan. I feel that if I was to share any information with her, it would bring her right back down at a time where she needs to stay positive.

I don’t know whom to talk to about this. If a girl can’t trust her daddy, whom can she trust?

Before you earn yourself a lifetime subscription to a pile of useless daddy issues, I highly recommend you talk to a therapist about this.

It sounds like your mom already has a shrink or two on speed-dial, so have her set you up an appointment as soon as possible. Don’t tell her why. In fact, don’t confront either of your parents about this until you’ve started sorting it out in your own head with the help of a professional.

Just tell your folks that you want to talk with someone about things at school and your brother being in Afghanistan. Hell, you’re a teenager. You don’t need much more of an excuse than that.

Once you’re in a therapeutic environment, take your time with this. You are not obligated to do anything, and whatever else happens, don’t feel like suddenly having this information is somehow forcing you to make a choice between your mother and your father.

This isn’t your burden. It’s not your job to referee your parents’ marriage, and the point here isn’t to address the infidelity. The point here is to make sure that you get through this in as healthy a way as possible.

This is about you, not them. You’re at the tail end of your adolescence, and you’re neck deep in the phase when you start recognizing how flawed your parents really are. How you process this stuff plays a huge role in how you will eventually form relationships as an adult.

You’re having to come to terms with the reality that your parents’ marriage is a complicated and messy thing. That’s tough even in the shiniest of sitcom families. It will be an exercise in patience and forgiveness, but you can get through it.

Just remember, sweetheart, you can still trust. You can trust that regardless of their flaws, your parents want the best for you. You can trust that no matter what, both your mom and your dad will always love you very much.