Paris Fashion Week or Sundance? OMG WHICH ONE???

Park City or Paris? Are you fucking kidding me?

Sundance is okay if you’re in the mood to fuck a Mormon in the snow after day of shitty movies, but that doesn’t hold a candle to fucking a Frenchman in the City of Light after a day of runway shows.

Go to Paris.

But I’ve been to Paris loads of times and my movie is playing at Sundance. However, I just can’t shake off how much I love shows! Plus I have invites. WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?

If you’ve got a movie at the festival and your passport already has plenty of stamps, then fine, go freeze your tits off at Sundance.

Do us all a favor, though. Quit whining in capital letters. I know you’re trying to be funny, but it just makes everybody want to slap you.