I want to fuck my best friend. We’re both spoken for; neither of us would ever ruin what we’ve got for sex. My self-control isn’t worth a damn. Is there something you can say that will ruin my libido for him? I’ve stepped a toe (fuck it, a whole damn foot) over the line and I don’t know how to let this go.
You’re in love with your best friend, which terrifies you, which is why you’re distracting yourself with the possibility of acting out sexually.
Fucking him is a big red self-destruct button, and you’re prepared to blow everything up (and take innocent bystanders down with you) just to avoid dealing with all those complicated emotions.
Don’t make this about your libido. Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling. That’s the only way you can start letting it go.
In the end if you can’t control yourself for the sake of your relationship, then control yourself for the sake of his relationship. Also consider what kind of disservice you’re doing your own relationship by constantly fantasizing about someone else, and ask if you truly value it as much as you say you do.
Wait, you want him AND he’s your best friend? Then what the hell role does your partner fill? I know I’m in the minority here, but if you can be with him (no marriages or kids) then you should end your relationships graciously and do it – the opportunity for this kind of emotional and physical connection are not overly common.
Holy shit, yes this is totally me. In the same boat sister.