Advice

On bisexual virgin coeds.

I’m a 19 year old bisexual college student in my junior year studying film. I’ve been dating a really sweet girl for almost six months now and I recently met an all-around amazing guy in one of my film courses.  I’ve spent a lot of time with him this semester in and out of class and have a lot in common, get along unusually well and he’s more than fuckable.

He’s a straight 20 year-old (no problems there) but I’ve never been interested in dating a member of the opposite sex until now.  It’s pretty obvious that he’s interested in me, we flirt constantly and have been spending more time together where it’s just us and not with a group of people.

This girl I’ve been dating is far more emotionally invested in the relationship than I am and to be frank, she’s not as interesting as I thought she was when we first started dating and I have been considering breaking up with her for a while.

I’m not a virgin in the “never had sex” sense, but I suppose I am in the physical sense.  I’ve only dated two girls before the current one and those relationships didn’t last as long as this one, she’s the first one I was intimate with.

The point is, I’ve never fucked a guy before and he doesn’t know this.  He doesn’t even know about my girlfriend.  Should I tell him?  Do you think that would weird him out at all?  He’s pretty open minded, but I’m apprehensive.  I don’t want to screw up with this guy.

A virgin coed who’s only had hot teenage lesbian sex? Don’t worry, sweetie. You’re the reason guys go to film school in the first place.

As general rule of thumb, your dates should be on a need-to-know basis with regard to all past sexual encounters. Unless this guy needs to know about your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, don’t tell him. The same goes for your technical virginity. None of it’s any of his business.

Your sexual histories don’t really matter anyways. Intimacy isn’t about learning each others’ pasts. It’s about just being present in the moment and enjoying each other physically and emotionally.

By the time you start referring to this guy as your boyfriend, you’ll probably have told him about your bisexuality. For now, just concentrate on the butt-sniffing stage of the courtship ritual.

Oh, and have some respect for your current relationship. End it now, regardless of what happens with this guy. It’s not fair to string your girlfriend along any more than you already have.

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2 thoughts on “On bisexual virgin coeds.

  1. Cuttlefish says:

    I’m actually pretty surprised that Coke didn’t take exception to the “technically a virgin in the physical sense” aspect of this question. So bisexual women who have only had sex with other women are still “technically” virgins, but bisexual women who have only had sex with men aren’t? So only hetero sex actually, physically “counts?” does that mean that lesbians are virgins forever? Would you consider sexually active gay dudes to be virgins too, or does it just only count as sex if there’s a dick involved? Ugh. I really expected better from Coke.

    (I know I am just ranting into the void, as this is from 2010 and I highly doubt that Coke looks at or gives a fuck about comments on old posts, but I’m a bisexual woman myself, and it irritates me to no end how my physical relationships with other women are never quite taken as seriously as my physical relationships with men, so…I’m ranting. And now I’m going to go and enjoy my Friday).

    • ahhhhhhhh says:

      As a bi woman who only ever had sex with women until very recently, sometimes it is just easier to say “virgin” then “never had penetrative sex with a male.” So whenever I have used that word to describe myself it has been for my own personal sense of brevity. I also only used it with people I know wont take it the wrong way and say something stupid.

      As for the other people not taking your female relationships seriously, I’d say that is more of a reflection of your own personal insecurity then their actual dumb opinion. If you were more secure you wouldn’t give a fuck and see it as a hilarious filter for assholes like it is. But maybe your 2018 self has figured that out already

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