Advice

On dating in los angeles.

I’m having trouble dating, specifically dating in Los Angeles, the land of superficiality. I’m a med student and I’ve been in Maxim, so I’m surrounded by nerds & get hit on by douchebags, neither of which I want to date. I keep getting wrapped up in men who are smart & successful but more interested in their jobs than me. What’s a girl to do to find an honest, hardworking family man in LaLaLand?

Honest, hardworking, and a family man? This is Los Angeles, babe. Unless you wanna marry a Mexican immigrant, you can only pick two out of the three.

You’re a soon-to-be doctor, former model living on the west side of paradise. Don’t tempt the fates by also expecting Ward Cleaver to fall out of the sky. You’re asking for too much.

That’s not to say you don’t deserve happiness, but is this really an honest assessment of your criteria for a man? It all seems a bit simplistic — no nerds, no douchebags, smart and successful — I wouldn’t go so far as to call you superficial, but your lists of prerequisites don’t seem to have any depth.

That’s not your fault. You’re young, and you’ve been too busy overachieving. You simply haven’t taken the time to do the kind of serious personal exploration necessary to figure out not just who you’re looking for, but why you’re looking in the first place.

Self exploration is a tough thing to do, and I would imagine you come from a family that considers that sort of thing an indulgence. Still, and I’ve said it before, you need to look inside yourself instead of using an external set of guidelines handed down from your mother.

I’m not saying that you won’t find an honest, hardworking family man in Los Angeles, but you’re not going to find him with a grocery list. You’ll find him once you find yourself.

Good luck with the search, sweetheart.

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