Best-Of Advice

On cocaine

You are one of my two favorite blogs. Your writing is brilliant. You should know that I lead a completely different lifestyle from yours- I live in the midwest, I don’t know much about the opposite sex, I have never done a drug “harder” than weed, and I was raised Catholic.

Your blog has made me reevaluate my feelings on a multitude of issues, and I thank you for the mental stimulation.

My main question is: Why cocaine? You say things like “when I die, I want my ashes mixed with glitter and cocaine, and shot up into the sky from behind the Hollywood sign.

What is it about cocaine that gets you through the weekend? How does it expand your mind? Is there anything you don’t like about it?

Friends get me through the weekend, not cocaine. New experiences expand my mind, not cocaine. I’m a party girl, not a drug addict. Sure, sometimes we’ll lay out a few lines and ramble on into the wee hours, but that’s never the point.

Listen, there’s plenty I don’t like about cocaine. It can turn people into gibbering idiots, it has the tendency to amplify anxiety, and it has the potential for serious abuse. There’s plenty I don’t like about glitter too, but fuck, most things get messy when you use too much of them.

I’m not here to glorify drugs. If you think that, you’ve missed the point entirely. It’s all just a pile of chemicals. Strip away the bullshit, and cocaine is just another medicinal plant extract no different than caffeine.

It’s only through a series of unhappy ethnobotanical and geopolitical accidents that caffeine is the primary active ingredient in the can of extreme soda some thick skulled police officer slurps down for a cheap rush right before he commits some horrible injustice against a citizen for possessing a mere gram of powdered cocaine.

A drug is a drug. The rest is all politics and culture. I know at first glance it may seem like I’m constantly blowing rails, but gimme a break, this whole silly experiment was born out of one night of coke talk with my friends last summer. At the time, I didn’t know I was creating a goddamned personal brand.

The decadent shit I do on any given weekend may or may not include recreational substances, but the glorification is owed to incredible experiences with fabulous people. I can’t stress enough that it’s never about the drugs.

Try cocaine if you want. Or don’t. It sounds like you might want to smoke a little more weed and sit on a rock hard cock or two before you start thinking about the California booger sugar. Whatever. Move at your own pace.

Just remember, cocaine isn’t the enemy. Human weakness is.


2 thoughts on “On cocaine

  1. Aeden Smith-Ahearn says:


    My name is Aeden Smith-Ahearn. I love your site! You guys do a great job.

    Anyways, I have a proposition that could be helpful.

    I do drug treatments in Mexico with Ibogaine. It’s completely different than traditional rehab. I would love to write an article for your site about Ibogaine. It could get you some very unique traffic and pull in a few more views for you as well as help me in my end goal.

    Let me know if that’s something that would interest you. I write exceptionally high quality articles so I know I can get you something you would like.

    For reference, here is an article I did for Addiction Blog.

    Thanks for your consideration!

    Aeden Smith-Ahearn

  2. willow says:

    I was still religious when you posted this but 2017 has been a big coke year for me and I still think about this post often.

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