Best-Of Advice

On paying attention

I assume you are a beautiful girl, and obviously confident and full of spunk (spunk?).  Are you flattered, interested, or just pissed and annoyed if a guy in a coffee shop / restaurant / bar asks you out?  Should I say something when I see a girl I’m attracted to in these situations, or just keep my fucking mouth shut?


Dude. You should be able to tell whether I’m flattered, interested, or just pissed off and annoyed within a fucking microsecond of approaching me.

Women are walking symphonies of non verbal cues. Eye contact. Body language. Facial expressions and gestures. Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not even something we can consciously control. We drop a million hints a minute whether we like it or not, but most of the time you idiots are too blunted by alcohol or blind lust to notice.

If you walk up to me in a public setting, you’ll get a flood of information about what I think of you long before we exchange a greeting. Just pay attention, man.

Was that an extra half second of eye contact or did I just think your hair looked ridiculous? Am I wondering if you’re going to talk to me, or am I wondering if the guy next to you went to high school with me?

These aren’t difficult questions. You should instantly know the answer to them. I know conventional wisdom says otherwise, but come on, we aren’t that fucking mysterious.

Now, if your larger question is whether you have the balls to approach me in the first place, that’s entirely up to you. Just do us both a favor and have your exit planned in advance. Trust me, you want me wondering where you went, not wondering why you’re still talking to me.


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