On commitment.

I’m in a committed relationship with a boyfriend I love. I’m 24, but I’m getting the urge to nest. I’m not talking forever or kids, but I want to settle down somewhere at least for awhile and really put my heart into making a life there. We’ve definitely never talked marriage — and that’s not even what I want right now, but I want it (or preferably, an equivalent — none of this ‘til death’ business) one day. I don’t see him as the forever guy, but I’m enjoying this relationship so much. I feel shitty for not telling him how I feel, but I don’t want to ruin it either.

I realize I can’t do this forever. It’s not fair to him, and his feelings are just as important as mine are. What do I do?

You’re not in a committed relationship. You’re just in an exclusive one. There’s a difference between temporary monogamy and actual commitment.

If you’ve led your boyfriend to believe that you’re committed to him when you’re not, then you haven’t been honest with him. Does he think he’s the forever guy? If so, you gotta set the record straight and let him know how you really feel.

If there’s no confusion on his part and all he expects out of the relationship is exclusivity, then just take that shit day by day and see what happens.


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