On cutting ties

I’m a lesbian. Woo. Yay rainbows and shit. I was raised in a really conservative, Southern Baptist family; yeah, that was fun. Anyway, I’m in a very serious relationship with my girlfriend, and we’re planning to marry once it’s legal in our state. However, my family refuses, completely, to ever acknowledge our relationship. In fact, they take regular measures to remind me of how disappointing and wrong my (our*) life is, and they make a point to keep it clear that they will never allow her to have any interaction with our family. I can rarely spend time with them anymore without ending up in a fight about it. I’ve tried to preserve the relationship because they’re family, but I want to know, is there a point at which I should just put my foot down and cut ties? Or should I just plaster a fake smile on my face and spend the rest of my life going stag to family functions, clenching my teeth every time someone encourages me to “find a man, already”?

I’m so very sorry that a stupid fucking religion has come between you and your family. If they won’t accept who you are because of a small-minded interpretation of an irrational belief system, then you are under no obligation to plaster a fake smile on your face for the rest of your life.

Do what you gotta do. Cutting ties is a big deal, but this is one of those circumstances where you should definitely put your own happiness and well-being above their petty and ignorant bullshit.

It may take years for them to learn their lesson, but if there is even an ounce of good in them, eventually they’ll realize that having a lesbian daughter is better than having no daughter at all.

And if not, fuck ‘em.


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