On fixing a friendship.

So I screwed up a good friendship with another girl by saying I was in love with her and making out with her a few times, despite knowing she’s been in love with another girl (who has a boyfriend) for 4 years. Now she insists we’re still friends but barely talks to me, while I want to call her out on her patheticalness and half-assery. And kiss her again.

I hate how everyone in this school makes a big deal of a boy and a girl sitting next to each other, let alone two girls making out without being in a relationship. I don’t want to be her girlfriend or the girl with “unrequited lesbian love”. Just a girl who kisses her girl friend sometimes.

How do I convince her it’s not a big deal? Or should I just give up on the friendship altogether?

First things first, no more telling her that you’re in love with her. She’s a friend. Sure, you love her, but the “in love” stuff is fucking with her head. Actually, it’s fucking with yours too. You’re not even sure what you mean when you say it, so until you do, keep that bomb in the bay.

As for damage control, your best bet is to fess up to an isolated stretch of clumsy infatuation, and then play it cool. Put a bow on the mess and start calling it the past.

Say something like, “I had a little crush on you there for a minute, but I’m completely over it now. I’m not in love with you, and it wasn’t fair for me to have said that I was. Sorry for almost fucking things up with our friendship, but hey, it’s high school. Shit happens.”

Acknowledge that you squirted awkward sauce all over a perfectly good platonic relationship, and let her know that this is you wiping it off.

Don’t try and convince her that “it’s not a big deal.” That’s not the way she sees the world. After all, your friend has spent four years pining for a straight, unavailable girl. It takes a certain kind of hopeless romantic to pull that off, even in high school.

You have to understand that for her, this kind of stuff is a huge deal. You’re never gonna make this seem small. All you can do is make it seem like old news.

The tricky part is that you really will have to play it cool. You may not be over her just yet, but until you are, can you fake it for the sake of the friendship? If not, don’t bother with any of this.

Good luck.


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