Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

If all jobs made the same salary, what would you do for a living?
Start a capitalist revolution.


What’s the best way to travel internationally with ecstasy?

In a private jet.


Are you afraid of getting old?

No. I’m afraid of looking old.


What’s a serious dealbreaker?

No, no. That’s their thing.


Do you believe in an afterlife or do you think this life is all we have?

This is it. Enjoy.


Are you really Dolly Parton?

Don’t be an idiot.


Are you Chelsea Handler?

Come on, really?

Of course! You’re Lisa Lampanelli!
You’re retarded.


What should I use my vagina for?

Storage.


Do you believe successful monogamy is possible?

Define successful, monogamy, and possible.


Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

Absolutely. Especially if it’s only for one night.


Is there something wrong with me if i find ke$ha attractive?

No. I’m sure she’d be a delightful hate fuck.


Do you believe in marriage?

Not as it’s been historically practiced.


I used to like you. Now you suck. What happened?

You started farting in front of me and the sex got boring, so I mentally checked out of our relationship.

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