Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

I bought myself a new vibrator. How do I responsibly dispose of my old one?
It’s a fucking vibrator, not a spent fuel rod from a nuclear reactor. Just throw the damn thing away.

I’m becoming the person my younger self would lols at.  And I’m completely fine w/ that.  Am I growing up, or just giving up?
Growing up. (And you’ve got a long way to go.)

In a weird series of events, I found out my boyfriend’s old fling had an abortion. He doesn’t know. He’s religious and it would upset him. I’m allowed to keep this secret to my grave? Yes?
Definitely, yes. (It’s really not your place to tell him.)

Do people have an obligation towards the country they were born in?
Fuck no.

What does “I want to be with you, I’m 100% committed to this relationship, and if you asked me to marry you I would say yes, but a wedding is a whole big thing” mean? I kind of feel shitty for wanting to get married, now.
Quit feeling shitty. (That’s one of your most annoying personality traits.) Your potential fiancé is rightfully terrified of having to plan and pay for a wedding. You obviously have no idea how stressful and expensive that shit really is.

Relationships are difficult and don’t work out, what’s the point?
Relationships are the point. They’re all we’ve got. Quit whining and get back out there.

I’m in my mid-20s and may have just fallen in love for the first time. I have no idea if I am. My palms are sweaty, I want to cry and laugh thinking about him, my heart races I get dizzy. We connect on so many levels, and I don’t think love = marriage but I’m too scared to even tell him. Is this something THE ice queen Coke has felt?
Many, many times. Enjoy it. That shit is the best drug on the planet.

How do you deal with being fucking tired of smiling and nodding, though? Like, I don’t put up with blatant disrespect in my personal life but I still have to bobblehead so much to get by that it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. Does it get easier as you get older?
It’s not that it gets easier. It’s that you just don’t have to do it as often.

Why has tumblr become so horrible?
Because I got kicked off it. Duh.


10 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

  1. John H. says:

    Wait, you got kicked off tumblr? How the duck did you manage that?

    (/me uses a reader to get to you, so didn’t notice a major site change)

  2. Perspectivator says:

    Hey now, her vibrator might actually be a health hazard. She could have all kinds of STD’s. If she, or even he, wasn’t careful they might leave it in a playground where kids are likely to find it and put it directly in their mouths. The only way to truly be safe is to put it in a kiln for three days or fire it into the sun with all the other unsafe sex toys.

    • Perspectivator says:

      I’m sorry…I can’t help but keep thinking someone might build a nuclear dildo bomb; or from other sex toys…probably butt plugs because, pu-238 ya know.

  3. If someone’s worried about a big, expensive, stressful wedding, then maybe they shouldn’t have one? It’s a really simple matter to go to the courthouse. Or scale back and have a simple, intimate gathering.

    There’s really no requirement to go all out. If you want to be married, why let finances or social expectations get in the way?

  4. S says:

    “Do people have an obligation towards the country they were born in?
    Fuck no.”
    Does the same go for the country you grew up in?

  5. Kath says:

    I feel like there’s no reason for the mere existence of differing concerns and preferences to make you “feel shitty” unless you’re incredibly juvenile.

    A wedding is a pretty big thing, but there are a million ways to compromise too. Start with how much it costs to get the paperwork signed and work up from there.

  6. Timea says:

    There are websites online where you can recycle a vibrator (or even a fucking toaster) in exchange for money or “points”. Google it.

  7. dk says:

    In regard to the safest way to dispose of a vibrator, actually I have a better suggestion than just throwing it away. Most electronic devices have metals and parts that can and should be recycled. Nowadays, most cities have recycling centers and special electronics recycling days, for things that may not be included in weekly recycling pickup. A vibrator is a great place to take that. Surely, if embarrassed, they can wait till they have a blow dryer or phone handset to get rid of. The stuff isn’t closely inspected. Vibrators often resemble curling irons at first look.

    (I was living in Vienna, Austria for 10 weeks in 2008 and my hairdryer blew out immediately despite my converter. I was told “OF COURSE you don’t throw it in the trash!” That’s when I learned of their small electronics recycling places, and that it was already completely a part of their expectations that people would take them there. We haven’t gotten to that latter part here yet).

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