On what “learn how to be alone” means

Friends are advising me that I need to “learn how to be alone” and it’s pissing me off. I’m a 34 year old professional – single, living alone, travel a lot, have great friends and enjoy my life well enough (aside from some work stress and a breakup 6 months ago.) Is this trite advice or am I in denial that I really DON’T know how to be alone? (And if it’s the latter, what am I doing wrong?)


Hmm. You seem to be leaving out the entire reason your friends are telling you to learn how to be alone. (Probably because you’re blind to it.)

My bet is that you’re codependent, and your friends are reacting to the symptoms. “Learn how to be alone” is friend code for “grow a fucking backbone and stop relying on the people you date for approval and identity.”

I dunno. Maybe you’ve been rebounding too hard. Maybe you’re not over your ex. Maybe you only know how to define yourself in the context of couplehood. Whatever it is, your friends have noticed, so they should be able to fill you in on the details.


3 thoughts on “On what “learn how to be alone” means

  1. Kate Musk says:

    Super spot on. I was lucky to have friends who called me out on my bulkshit in the gentlest way possible. I was super lucky, period.

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