Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

I really wish I could edit my comments.
I’ve added a feature that gives you a 15 minute window to edit or delete any comments you make on my site. (Good suggestion.)

I’m more content than I have been in a long time. Why does that fill me with a vague sense of dread?
I like to refer to that as cosmic background anxiety. It’s a sort of low-level existential angst that’s always there, and you only feel it when all the other noise and static is gone.

Casual guy told me I was too smart for him/ he couldn’t keep up. Then we fucked one last time and he ghosted. It’s just an excuse cause he’s not into it, right? What the fuck
The whole “he’s just not that into you” thing implies that it actually had something to do with you in the first place. In a casual world full of narcissists, y’all need to start getting used to the fact that it wasn’t ever about you to begin with.

he didn’t contact me when he was single but now that he’s in a relationship, he’s all up on me. why would someone want to fuck me when they have a girlfriend but not when they’re single?
Apparently, you’re side-piece material.

What’s left after the being in love phase is over?
Love. Or ennui. Or both. Depends on how you play it.

Thoughts on unconditional basic income?
I like the idea of social dividends, but I’d rather see the American experiment head in the direction of tuition-free college and universal health care.

If you were tied down and blindfolded to a bed and had a variety of men and women to eat your pussy, do you think you’d be able to identify the men from the women?
Easily. I know this from experience.

Does your therapist know about your advice column? Do you discuss or debate your advice?
I’m in between therapists at the moment, but no, sorry. I don’t talk about you guys in therapy.

You’ve become much less of an internet wackadoo since you’ve stopped using tumblr.
It’s been three months. What could you possibly be referring to?


17 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

    • J Lynn says:

      That’s a pretty hot fantasy & impressed that CT knows “from experience”! I am also curious about how men’s and women’s techniques differ. Not in a position to find out for myself just now. Maybe someday. šŸ™‚

      • I think Elaine probably said it best when explaining to Jerry why she couldn’t get a gay man to switch teams:

        “Being a woman, I only really have access to the, uh… equipment, what, thirty, forty-five minutes a week. And that’s on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who *own* this equipment, and have access to it twenty-four hours a day, their entire lives?”

    • Ashley says:

      strangely rational nails it. when you have the same parts its easier to know what works and what doesn’t even if you’ve only been with your partner for that night.

  1. Internet wackadoo says:

    I mean that your opinions are less polarizing than they were in the past, either because you don’t go on tumblr anymore or because you don’t feel like you need to pander to the tumblrites that read your blog.

    Phrases another way; your writing seems more organic and genuine, and less like someone downloaded a meme into your brain that you rely on for your frame of reference.

  2. Kelly Chase says:

    I appreciate that you gave us a way to edit our comments and I appreciate even more that you limited it to a 15 minute window. It’s a very CT thing to do. I mean that in the best way.

    • Kelly Chase says:

      Ooooh. It really counts it down for you, too. I have 14 minutes and 20 seconds to think about what I’ve done. 13 seconds….

  3. Sarah says:

    Phew! I really thought that it was just me that felt the background anxiety. I have always thought my brain chemistry was off because my resting level of happiness is kind of unsteady… Whenever life slows down too much, I have a mini existential crisis.

  4. ragazza says:

    It’s probably not so much that she’s “side-piece material” as that now she’s “safe,” because he’s in another relationship. Anything with her won’t go anywhere official, hence no risk. This is a classic emotional coward move and it says loads about him, not her.

  5. Ashley says:

    “Thoughts on unconditional basic income?
    I like the idea of social dividends, but Iā€™d rather see the American experiment head in the direction of tuition-free college and universal health care.”

    why can’t you have your cake and eat it too? i think the basic income idea would do huge things in terms of improving our economy, especially if we removed bureaucratic red tape for small businesses (like under 10 employees small). think social security for everyone… imagine what you could do with an extra $1000-2000 bucks or so a month. even if you weren’t entrepreneurial, unlike the extreme wealthy you aren’t going to hoard your cash in a tax haven, you’ll spend it on consumer goods and since we have a consumer based society (for better or worse) it would be a major boon to the economy. plus with basic income you could get rid of welfare bureaucracy (and the extreme humiliation and shame having to resort to welfare in the first place – or worse, making a few dollars too much to receive benefits like my parents did) – get rid of section 8 and get rid of food stamps and other programs (of course while providing enough basic income to pay rent/utilities/food). although there might have to be price controls on housing costs (well rent at least) as a result… otherwise people will just raise the prices out of sheer greed. the only exception to this would be people with severe mental illnesses or drug addictions, they might need someone to oversee their money.

    add tuition free higher education (and forgiving current student loans) and universal healthcare and were really talking. and then of course, we can take a lesson from portugal and change the way we treat drug addictions and then well be living in utopia… one can dream…

  6. Karen in Montreal says:

    Someone is ‘side piece material’ when somebody else tries to make them into a side-piece and they accept. You can’t blame the asshole for trying; it’s up to the askee to decide what their own values are.

    And about why they seek you out once they’re in a relationship? They LOVE to have their cake and eat it too, deceiving their partner feels like they’re winning something, and they enjoy nothing more than triangulation and drama – as long as it’s centered around them.

    Now don’t you just feel like hopping into bed with them?

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