I expected better from you than a Mean Girls reference.
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

I think Rachel Maddow is the real life Will McAvoy. Your thoughts? Where do you turn to for reliable unbiased news?
Keith Olbermann is the real life Will McAvoy, which should explain why he keeps getting fired, and yeah, Rachel Maddow is better than all of ‘em.

My best friend is dating a bisexual guy. She said it’s cool in their relationship if he messes around with some guys on the side. Does that give me a free pass to fuck him?
No, you are not “some guy.” You are her best friend. Unless she gives you explicit permission, he’s off limits.

So, what would YOU do if your significant other went through your phone?
Why would my significant other go through my phone?

What’s the difference between being in a monogamous relationship with a guy and being his girlfriend?
What’s the difference between eating a chocolate flavored crisped rice cereal and eating Cocoa Krispies?

How wrong is it if I start dating someone just because I have a huge crush on his straight best friend and I just want him to be in my life as a friend?
Come on, dude. You know better than to be so emotionally dishonest. Besides, how do you think that’s gonna end? Ugly. Fuckin’ ugly.

How do I tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him with my best friend and her girlfriend?
I think you’ll be surprised how easy it is to confess to your boyfriend that you had a lesbian threesome.

How can I convince a straight white male that privilege exists?
Turn him into a queer minority female.