Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

A one-night stand told me that I hide behind sarcasm. What does that say about me?
It says you let your one night stands talk too much.

“The people with the best advice usually have the most problems.”
The people who believe things just because they’re in quotation marks usually have the lowest IQs.

You are racist.
The system is racist. I’m just an asshole who knows it.

All your icons are white blonde women. Not very diverse, are you?
Yeah, because if I changed one of my icons to a picture of Beyonce, suddenly I wouldn’t be an asshole.

Why won’t we ever hear the NRA say “If only Trayvon had been armed”?
You can’t expect monied interests to be internally consistent with their own hypocrisy.

What’s the deal with college? Why is it so fucking expensive?
The price of a college degree has skyrocketed for the same reason everyone is getting fat on high fructose corn syrup. Government subsidy has unintended consequences.

“I have two kids, he likes trucks, she likes dolls and pink, it’s biological.” PLEASE share your opinions on this.
A statement like that is too clumsy to parse. I mean, technically it’s all biological, but if you wanna draw a line between nature and nurture with regard to the universality of gender differences, go read some Steven Pinker.

Is it impossible to become good, close friends with someone you’re having sex with without dating them?
Dating is a courtship ritual. You don’t have to date, but if you’re bonding with a sexual partner, it’s a difficult trick to keep things mutually platonic without some explicit ground rules and a lot of open, honest communication.

Settle a bet for me: are black and pink tacky together?
Yep, especially if an animal print is involved. I think Betsey Johnson tried to pull that shit off once, but black and pink doesn’t belong outside of the gym or the strip club. (Except on Wednesdays, of course.)

Does it really get better?
Probably. For a while. Might not, though. You’re still gonna die in the end anyway, so you might as well enjoy whatever you’ve got while you can.


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