Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Is sex overrated?
The kind for sale on TV is overrated, but the real thing is pretty fucking great.

I’ve never been broken up with. I’ve ended the few serious relationships I’ve been in. This bothers me, but I’m not sure what to do about it.

That’s not what bothers you. What bothers you is that you don’t know whether you’ve ever really been in love.

After seeing that video of amanda bynes, you still don`t think she’s trying to pull some Joaquin Phoenix ‘I’m still here” type shit? It just seemed way too theatrical and ridiculous.
Who gives a fuck? Amanda Bynes could announce tomorrow that her twitter account is a poetic contemplation of Baudrillard’s Precession of Simulacra, and I still wouldn’t be impressed with her ratchet ass bullshit.

Do you still believe in gender roles? How do you define “manhood”?
Manhood is the state of being an adult male. Anything more specific than that is a matter of culture, and I don’t particularly care to define it. As for gender roles, yes, I believe they still exist.

Should I tell my ex I cheated on him a year ago? I know I’m a piece of shit.

If it would hurt him, don’t do it. You don’t get to confess at his expense.

Why were the 90s so much better?
They weren’t. Not at all. Neither were the 70s or the 50s. Certain aspects of culture are just cyclical, and this is when a few wet chunks of the 90s will come gurgling back up the drain.

Should the federal drinking age be lowered?
Federally? There should be no drinking age.

I really like fucking gender A but am dating someone of gender B, whom I also enjoy fucking. If I exclusively commit to/marry/make adorable babies with said B-gendered person, will I always miss gender A sex?
Yep. You’ll always miss gender A sex. Eventually, you’ll also miss gender B sex with someone other than your exclusive B-gendered partner. Sorry, babe. Monogamy is twice as hard when you’re bisexual.

Do periods and commas go inside or outside quotation marks?

Your slab serif font is cute, but a little “so two years ago.”
A passive aggressive graphic designer? Cute. Fred Armisen could play you in a Portlandia sketch or something.


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