Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

What’s the best way to embrace becoming newly single?
A brief period of self-assessment that doesn’t become self-absorption.

What is a socially acceptable amount of people to sleep with before you get married?
You know what’s socially unacceptable? A preoccupation with how many sexual partners you or anyone else might have had.

How the fuck do people keep their living spaces clean? I’m a functioning adult in every other way but goddamn being neat eludes me.
Try Unfuck Your Habitat. It’s like a tumblr support group for people like you.

When does youth end and middle age begin?

In our capitalist consumer-driven culture, it’s when you’re no longer targeted by advertisers trying to reach the 18-34 demographic.

Cynicism is damaging my mental and physical health. What can I do?
Quit internalizing all the negativity. Recognize that you’re not in control of how other people behave, and just let some shit go.

He says that he’s punching above his weight and that I’m slumming it. Can this relationship work?
It can, but it won’t. (You’ll eventually lose respect for him.)

Why does sex always complicate things?
Because you let it.

How do you know you’re going in the right direction?
You don’t.

Well… how do you fill the existential void then?
You don’t.

This isn’t meant to be sarcastic or mean-spirited whatsoever, but why should we take advice from you?

I just realized you don’t know shit, because no one does, and it was very liberating.
You get a cookie.


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