On girl-on-girl.

Have you ever fucked a girl? And if so, are you bisexual, or just open in bed? Because I’ve always been interested in having a threesome, or foursome, or however many, but I’m not bisexual. Thoughts? Concerns?

The word fuck doesn’t seem right, but yes, I’ve embraced my bisexuality and had plenty of sex with women. I don’t label myself bi, but that’s because I have a problem with labels, not my sexuality.

Interestingly, almost all of my girl-girl experiences have been in the kind of multiple-partner scenarios that seem to have piqued your curiosity.

I’ve gone down on a number of girls who, like you, would never consider themselves bisexual. So really, when I hear the phrase, “I’m not bisexual,” I find that it could mean a number of things.

Sometimes it means that you don’t find women sexually attractive and you never will. That’s perfectly fine. Some folks really are a zero on the Kinsey Scale, and if that’s you, it shouldn’t have any effect on your ability to enjoy threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes other than having fewer people to fuck at any given moment.

Sometimes, “I’m not bisexual” means that you haven’t yet fully processed your sexuality, and regardless of any curiosity or latent tendencies you may have, there’s still a bit too much shame in your standard American upbringing to acknowledge the possibility of hitting a one or a two on the Kinsey Scale.

Sometimes, “I’m not bisexual” is just pure fucking denial, whether deliberate or unconscious. This probably doesn’t apply to you, but I’ve come across it before (usually from a girl who later confesses that she couldn’t wait to get me naked, but she didn’t want her boyfriend to think that she was a lesbian. Sad, but true.)

Either way, “I’m not bisexual” is such a self limiting phrase. It puts you in a box.

Instead, try the phrase, “I haven’t found myself sexually attracted to women so far.” It’s a much more open way to approach your sexuality as you start exploring, and if you never get turned on by a girl, that’s fine. At least you’ll know you weren’t closed off to the possibility.


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