Listen up, all you lovers and fuckers. I’ve got some killer news. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve been tapped to be the advice columnist for The Daily, Rupert Murdoch’s new iPad newspaper.
That’s right. I done sold the fuck out to the man.
I’ll be writing a Wednesday and Sunday column in the Arts & Life section called Dear Coquette that will be every bit as shady as Dear Coke Talk. It’s great. Not only do I get to stay anonymous, but they really are letting me do whatever the hell I want.
If you don’t have an iPad, now you gotta reason to go get one. If you do have an iPad, download The Daily app. Do it now. Don’t worry, it’s free for the first two weeks, and after that it’s only 99 cents a week. You know I’m worth it, bitches.
Go ahead, read my shit in today’s special Valentine’s edition. It’s a column about laziness, monogamy, and hot MILF action. Good times.
Just so you all know, I’m about to hop on a plane to New York City for fashion week. I’m gonna take a few days off from the blogs while I’m whore talking it up around Manhattan, but don’t worry, I’ll be back soon.
Happy V Day, bitches.