Advice

On internet porn.

I’m engaged and I love my dude, but I’m pretty sure he’s addicted to porn. I know, it sounds fucking stupid, but there’s no other explanation for what’s going on. I’ll wake up in the morning and leave our room to get some water or make lunch for later and he’ll be on his computer. As soon as he realizes that I’m in the room, he starts typing quickly and talks to me about whatever website he’s looking at. I’m not stupid, I know he’s beating off. I watch porn too, so it’s not a huge deal for me, but when you have a chick in the room next to you who LOVES to get her bone on, it doesn’t make sense to be fapping before work. I haven’t gained weight, I don’t cry during sex, I know I’m not boring in bed, and he’s for sure not cheating. It’s making me feel shitty about myself and it’s pretty much ruining my sex drive (which was pretty high). I already manned up and spoke to him about it, but I certainly don’t feel any better and I honestly don’t know what else to do about it.

The good news is, this isn’t about you — he’s normal and not at all addicted to porn.

The porn was there before you showed up, and it’ll be there after you’re gone. Our pool of eligible bachelors and boyfriends have been downloading endless streams of progressively raunchier and raunchier hardcore pornography for well over a decade.

It’s really quite remarkable when you consider that by the time our guys have jerked their way through a single bottle of Jergens, they’ve absorbed more XXX action than existed in all the world at the time of their births.

Try contemplating the breadth, depth, and mind-boggling magnitude of all the porn sites, porn genres, and porn stars freely available for viewing at every hour. Do you honestly expect to compete with just one measly vagina?

You could be a bisexual nymphomaniac fashion model and you still couldn’t hold your own against internet porn, which leads me to the bad news: this isn’t about you — he’s normal and not at all addicted to porn.

You couldn’t be more wrong in your assumption that “when you have a chick in the room next to you who LOVES to get her bone on, it doesn’t make sense to be fapping before work.”

I’m sorry, but ask any straight guy without a vested interest in boning you, and if he’s honest he’ll tell you that sexing the ol’ ball-and-chain can be a chore, but getting a good wank in before work is pure recreation.

In other words, when he’s fucking, he’s trying to please you. When he’s jerking, he’s trying to please himself. Surely you understand the difference.

I’ve dealt with this very situation, and if you’re willing to put in a little extra effort, I’ve got a foolproof solution that will have him mounting you in no time.

Next time you catch him in the act, tell him you want to replace his hand with your mouth. Don’t let him stop surfing the porn. Go down on him right then and there with no hesitation and make sure he keeps surfing the porn as if you weren’t even in the room. Make it about pleasing him, and I guarantee you he’ll eventually shove the computer aside and pound you like the pornstar he was just watching.

Good luck.

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4 thoughts on “On internet porn.

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  2. Chris says:

    If this guy’s that deep into watching hardcore material, he’s at risk to have ED at a very young age. Luckily, it’s reversible after about 3 months, or so I’ve read/heard from a couple sources, including a TED Talk from a guy who found himself in this unfortunate situation at an extremely young age.

  3. Connie says:

    It sounds more like hes cheating to me, or messaging women in a way that he knows isnt “allowed”, hence hiding what he’s doing.

  4. Kevin says:

    “In other words, when he’s fucking, he’s trying to please you. When he’s jerking, he’s trying to please himself. Surely you understand the difference.”

    Oh. My. God…

    Thank you. All this time I was thinking my asshole was broken when he’s jerking off next to me in the morning. I thought I wasn’t riding the dick enough.

    Again, thank you.

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