I’ve always had these urges to hurt people. I don’t really know how to describe them. They aren’t sexual, and I don’t like the idea of other people being in pain, but I really want to cause pain. I haven’t acted on them since I was too young to really understand what I was doing, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them again and hurt someone because I don’t have enough self-restraint. What should I do, Coquette? I’d like to get rid of these urges and become a good person, but the more important thing is I keep myself from actually hurting anyone.
Relax, dude. You’re not some psycho. You’re not even a bad person. You’re just undiagnosed OCD, and you’re suffering from a garden variety set of harm obsessions.
Find a shrink in you area who specializes in obsessive-compulsive disorder, and get a little treatment. You’ll be fine.